By Aelwen Iredale Hear ye, hear ye! Attention all students! Have you noticed some changes on your walks across Centre’s campus? Don’t worry, you’re not going crazy. Centre is simply implementing new, stricter pathways. We can all agree that cement is an ugly blight across the beautiful green grass that Centre spends all of its […]
Category: CentOnion
New Fraternity Begins Chartering Process!
by Hallie Gleeson Centre College has a highly active Greek Life, with around 50% of the student population participating. There are five sororities and, until this year, six fraternities. A seventh fraternity is chartering now! Oozma Kappa is an international and interdimensional Greek organization that was founded in 2011. Its members value true brotherhood, personal […]
Colonels Beware!!!
by Macy Critchelow Captain Danbeard has walked into Cowan and has pillaged all the citrus. As he vigorously stomps with his pegleg clipping on the floor. He addresses his audience in a loud, aggressive cadence. “Peel, peel, rip, rip, A Cutie in me hand, I’ve stockpiled citrus by the chest, The finest fruit in all […]
An Update from the Ghost of Grant
By McKenzie Snellgrove Dear Centre College, Yes, it is I, the infamous ghost of Grant Hall. Unless you are a theatre or music student, you may not know who I am, so I might as well introduce myself. Have you ever been in a practice room late at night and saw the lights flicker at […]
This Just In: New Finals Format!
by Aelwen Iredale Attention, Centre students! As finals approach, Admin wants the Cento to relay changes to the finals schedule to the student body as a whole. In particular: how your finals will be formatted. Depending on your subject matter, you may be expected to conduct a new form of exam. Forget about written exams, […]
The Curse of John Marshall Harlan
by Leigh Wingfeld Ever since the installation of the John Marshall Harlan (JMH) Statue, I’ve been noticing some disturbing patterns developing on this campus. Everything just seems to be going wrong! Murphy’s law has been putting in some work; truly anything that can go wrong has gone wrong. We’ve had crazy weather, losses, and other […]
Ask Abe: Multifaceted Student Struggles
Dear Abe, Abe Help. What do? Dropped Waffle 🙁 5 Second Rule ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hey Abe, my therapist says I need to take a break but I don’t know how to take time for myself. Class work is piling up and I feel like I don’t have time to spare. What should I do? Drop out. […]
Trivia Trove: Totally True Facts About Centre College
Centre College is ripe with rarely known trivia facts! Ranging from menial to scandalous, we have compiled all the juiciest factoids for your enjoyment. To gather this information, we have been studying the inner workings of the Centre Mafia for months, and are finally prepared to release the secrets discovered during our investigation. A HUGE […]
Introducing Cento Match!
Link: https://forms.gle/Sy7tyh38XSqG3xJP9 The Cento is happy to announce the launch of our newest program: Cento Match! Using state-of-the-art technology (unpaid Cento writers), the Cento will analyze your answers to our just-as-state-of-the-art survey, and will match you with the love of your life you didn’t know you were looking for!
Danville Fire Department in Shambles After Too Many Fire Alarms
by Oaffy Duckley In a shocking press conference last week, Danville mayor J.H. Atkins announced that the city was facing an unprecedented $20 million budget shortfall. While defending his mayoral administration’s fiscal policies, he cited the fire department overshooting its budget by more than 800% as the principal cause of the shortfall. Itemized receipts reveal […]