Category: CentOnion

by Oaffy Duckley Many months of investigative reporting have finally answered one of the student body’s most pressing questions over the last year: where is all our increased tuition money going? A financial report obtained by the CentOnion reveals the shocking truth: in Academic Year 2025-2026, $528,751 of Centre’s budget was earmarked for “caviar, Wagyu […]

by Cornelius Binghamfart the Third Filming has begun on Centre College’s campus for the exciting movie “Cocaine Quails,” a feature length film featuring the Cocaine Quails in the Young basement.  Contrary to popular belief, Centre College does not have cocaine chickens. It has the next best, flightless thing: Cocaine Quails! These quails are native to […]

by Aelwen Iredale There’s been rain. There’s been sun. There’s been every temperature we can imagine. And guess what? It’s not over with! We can all be very excited to deal with continually varying temperatures. So don’t put away your winter boots just yet—spring hasn’t sprung quite yet. Here’s the weather report for this week: […]

by Anonymous Weed is becoming more and more accessible at Centre College. There is a rising demand for this substance among Centre students and this demand is being met by an unexpected demographic: Danville high school students. These Danville locals are flooding Centre with so much weed that even the most seasoned of stoners would […]

by Cornelius Binghamfart the Third, President of the Association Against Blue Dogs The latest Centre College theater show, appropriately titled Witch, is filled with devil worshippers. The play horrendously includes a person playing a devil, and is a mockery of the theater program! This is exactly what Dungeons and Dragons and heavy metal music has […]

by Cole Hiller Next, I meticulously researched and interviewed every single writer and editor at Cento. I  checked their social media (whether it be new posts or old posts) and read through all their likes and comments. I also talked to their friends and family in order to get an accurate read of the characters […]

by Daniel Covington It’s getting closer and closer to Christmas! Here at the Cento, we have compiled a list of gifts suitable for Centre students. Whether you are a fellow student, staff member, or parent of a Centre student, these 10 gifts would be perfect for any Centre student. Be sure to order soon, if […]

by Charlesie Robison Hello, Centre Students! I hope everyone enjoyed this year’s study abroad fair! However, due to some complications, some courses were left out of this year’s showcase. So, I am happy to announce five more courses for consideration for this coming 2026-2027 Abroad and Away program!  BYU / Utah – REL281 with Dr. […]

by Aelwen Iredale and Connor Parks To: students-request@lists.centre.edu From: katie.murphy@centre.edu Good day, everyone! There have been some early additions to the Spring 2026 Convocation Calendar, which are reflected on the document below. These events can also be found on the Convocations page on CentreNet.  Make sure to mark your calendars for these upcoming convocations! While […]

 By McKenzie Snellgrove This year, I’ve grown tired of the holly jolly Christmas schtick and become suspicious of good ol’ Kris Kringle. Just as we’ve seen with the release of the Epstein list, anyone who has a substantial amount of power and wealth is bound to have some skeletons in their closet…so what could Santa […]