Dear Abe, I don’t think I deserved the grade I got on my exam, how should I go about fixing this? If a test defeats you, then you must retaliate by defeating it. Or, more precisely, you must defeat the person who created that test: your professor. When you stare at the failing grade on […]
Category: CentOnion
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By Cole Hiller and Linley Mueller This week, on the Cento’s Trustworthy News Update, we have caught wind of a variety of interesting events. What a doozy for news this week! Here at The Cento, we are committed to bringing the most riveting, informative, curated news to your attention. We hope you can see the […]
The Cowan Round Table
by Elke Coenders Some members of the Algonquin Round Table visited Centre recently. They took over a Cowan table. I eavesdropped and wrote down some things they said. Edna Ferber: “Being a business major is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to study.” Dorothy Parker: “I like to have a […]
Looking For a Job At Centre?
by Aelwen Iredale We all know that Centre is expensive; we complain about it all the time. Between tuition, room and board, meal plans, and all the money we spend avoiding staying on campus, we are all broke college students, as per usual. But what if I told you there was a solution? Centre has […]
The Two-Party Problem of America
by Cole Hiller In case you didn’t know, the election was this year. I didn’t know that until the day of the election, when I was researching the candidates frantically while being driven to the polling station. Personally, I was too wrapped up in Antarctica’s politics to pay attention to American politics, so I voted […]
The Chevans Secret
by Adam West Hello, dear reader. The Cento recently received a concerning letter and believe that it would be best, as a newspaper, to publish it for your enjoyment. We cannot confirm or deny anything in this message. However, if you have any information that may validate or disprove this email, please contact us at […]
Centre Through the Ceiling Tiles
by Aelwen Iredale & Charlesie Robison One day as I sat studying in the library, I saw a familiar dog run by. It was rather curious to see Blue in such a rush without any humans guiding, so I couldn’t help myself but stand and follow. As I peered outside, I saw Blue running towards […]
The Curse of Hamlet
by McKenzie Snellgrove Many people inside the theatre community and out know about the curse of The Scottish Play. For centuries, the curse has been a looming ghost in western theatre, waiting to doom unsuspecting productions that utter the famous word or perform the cursed play. No self-respecting thespian would dare to speak the name […]
Centre Student Recommended Schedule
by Aelwen Iredale 5am: Wake up Time to get up and get at it, recruit! It’s time for you to prove your mettle as a soldier—I mean, student at Centre College. So, roll out of bed and throw on the first clothes you can find. Every minute you waste is a minute you could spend […]
The Inside Scoop on the Crosswalk Demon of New Quad
by McKenzie Snellgrove Any Centre student who has been anywhere near New Quad in the past few weeks has inevitably come in contact with the raspy and alarming voice emanating from the crosswalk signal. As soon as students press the button to cross, they are met with a grating “WAIT!” soon followed by a loud […]