by Adam West Hello, dear reader. The Cento recently received a concerning letter and believe that it would be best, as a newspaper, to publish it for your enjoyment. We cannot confirm or deny anything in this message. However, if you have any information that may validate or disprove this email, please contact us at […]
Category: CentOnion
Centre Through the Ceiling Tiles
by Aelwen Iredale & Charlesie Robison One day as I sat studying in the library, I saw a familiar dog run by. It was rather curious to see Blue in such a rush without any humans guiding, so I couldn’t help myself but stand and follow. As I peered outside, I saw Blue running towards […]
The Curse of Hamlet
by McKenzie Snellgrove Many people inside the theatre community and out know about the curse of The Scottish Play. For centuries, the curse has been a looming ghost in western theatre, waiting to doom unsuspecting productions that utter the famous word or perform the cursed play. No self-respecting thespian would dare to speak the name […]
Centre Student Recommended Schedule
by Aelwen Iredale 5am: Wake up Time to get up and get at it, recruit! It’s time for you to prove your mettle as a soldier—I mean, student at Centre College. So, roll out of bed and throw on the first clothes you can find. Every minute you waste is a minute you could spend […]
The Inside Scoop on the Crosswalk Demon of New Quad
by McKenzie Snellgrove Any Centre student who has been anywhere near New Quad in the past few weeks has inevitably come in contact with the raspy and alarming voice emanating from the crosswalk signal. As soon as students press the button to cross, they are met with a grating “WAIT!” soon followed by a loud […]
DPS Golf Cart Implicated in Hit-and-Run
by Aelwen Iredale Attention, Centre Students! Over the weekend, a DPS golf cart was commandeered by a yet-to-be-identified, reckless individual. As a poor student attempted to cross the street from the freshman dorms, the thief—outrunning DPS—hit the student. Without waiting for the student to recover, the driver sped off, ending their theft in a hit-and-run. […]
Centre’s Vanished Finances: A Saga
by Connor Park “Bellarmine?….Yeah, it’s Milton…..Listen, we’ve got some issues down here….” You didn’t really expect to be able to use all those Flex Dollars, did you? To students, it was portrayed as a clerical error—a minor technical mishap that resulted in each of us blessed with enough “special little treat” money to fill Herrington […]
Student Orchestra Head-Banger!
by Linley Mueller The Centre Symphony Orchestra has just performed their last concert of the year! It was a great representation of the vast genres that are involved in the world of music. There was more variety in this concert than the average playlist, and the show was truly entertaining. The orchestra started off by […]
The Hydra Moodle Update
by Hallie Gleeson It’s late at night, you’ve drained three Einstein coffees, and your eyes are blurry from staring at the blue light of your screen. The clock ticks closer to midnight. You feverishly add the finishing touches to your paper, and at last triumphantly put your finished document into Moodle. You click submit. The […]
The Cicadas Agenda
by Linley Mueller In the year of 2024, for the first time since 1803, there are two cicadas broods that are emerging to create one giant influx of cicadas. These are Broods XIX and XIII, coming together to produce a swarm of over a billion cicadas across the country. These specific cicadas are also going […]