By Macy Critchelow
It was Halloween, or as Captain Danbeard preferred to call it, Halloweekend.
After centuries at sea, it was time to bring in the ship.
His skills were questionable; he somehow managed to park on the train tracks at the end of Greek Row.
Yet, Danbeard had more important things to worry about: his costume.
He wanted to be something terrifying. Something legendary. Something… sexy.
So he wandered around searching for inspiration.
He was alarmed by the composed, tame campus.
At last, Danbeard thought he had finally found his people.
There they stood: loud, shirtless, and wandering around in packs.
Clearly, they were fellow pirates.
He approached them cautiously, only to realize they weren’t pirates at all.
They were frat boys.
Barbaric.
He had never encountered such a lawless crew on dry land.
As he examined their behavior and costumes.
He found that many were dressed in his same fashion.
Peg legs, ripped shirts, slurred speech, and the smell of rum.
After he felt more at seas (get it?), his costume was an easy choice.
If the boys on land were to dress in his likeness.
He decided to dress as what mocks him.
A sexy parrot.