A Sign by Any Other Name

by Aelwen Iredale
A sign by any other name would still be banned by Centre College. What is a sign, after all? A collection of words? Must there be a clear message? Well, it does not matter what your decoration is. At Centre College, every window display is a message.
Take a lowly potted plant, for example. You may think it is an innocent display. You want something alive in the window, something that may flower in the spring, perhaps. At a time when the leaves are falling and the air is getting a chill (hopefully, anyways), we all need a bit of greenery. But what students don’t realize is that plants send a very clear message to those who pass by: that they should be thriving this school term, like these lively decorations. That is offense during a time where students are dying due to midterms. It reminds them of the hopelessness of their own plight. Honestly, when considering that, how could you even think of putting up plants?
Of course, this does not hold a candle to any sort of glass decoration that catches the light. You think the rays of rainbow light are beautiful? You’re right, they are, and that is not allowed at Centre College! You didn’t make those decorations, you didn’t toil away for hours in JVAC to learn the craft behind these pieces, and you certainly didn’t earn the right to display them. And if you did make them? You’re being a showoff. Stop it. How rude of you to send a message of such entitlement.
Finally, if you are thinking of decorating for Halloween, don’t. Centre despises Halloween decorations. The last time they caught someone with a creepy doll up in their window, it was immediately taken down. These signs send a message of terror to all who see it, and that is completely unacceptable. You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking of frightening someone in that way.
When you’re decorating, it’s important to remember Centre’s recommendation: minimalism. If you have nothing up, you send no message, and thus you create no problems.
Now, we must ignore the way SAC hosted a street-sign pop-up. These have the word sign in them, but, obviously, no one would put anything inappropriate on a street-sign. Centre College students are completely appropriate and know the rules. But, of course, in these circumstances, the school is promoting signs. We must suppose they have good reasons for the slight hypocrisy. (That being said, we must also question why they decided to let people make signs so soon after penalizing people for a Halloween doll in their window.)
Oh, and we will also ignore the variety of decorations put up by Einstein’s, Cowan Dining Hall, and the Campus Centre during various holidays. Students cannot put up signs or decorations, but Centre can send whatever message they want.
Well, in the end, there is only one option: be considerate of others, even when there are no others around. It is our solemn duty as Centre students to represent absolutely nothing and be as bland and inoffensive as possible. That will certainly prepare us for the real world where everything is censored and palatable.