By Aelwen Iredale
Beware, Centre College…Halloweekend approaches. This means the monsters of Centre will emerge, so you will have to be on your toes to keep from becoming monstrous yourself.
First, remove all welcome signs from your doors. All you will do is let the vampires in with that invitation (Trust me, you all know who I’m talking about. That one student you know who inevitably sucks the energy and life from you upon every interaction? They’re more than what they seem.)
Next, investigate each Cowan meal carefully. The mad scientists crafting each new concoction are more than pleased when a freshman, unaware of the danger near Halloweekend, takes a bite of a mystery meat with a strange sauce that may or may not have…transformative effects. I think their latest hire is named Dr. Jekyll?
Third, keep a careful eye on your professors. As Halloweekend approaches, they tend to become…odd. If they start to ask you riddles, consider skipping class. If you don’t answer the sphinx’s riddles three, you will never pass their class. At least during an exam you have a chance. A sphinx might bite your head off.
Fourth, avoid the post-midterm students who have lost all brainpower. During Halloweekend, they begin to transform. Their desire for brains will drive them to drastic measures. Don’t let these zombie students catch up to you—they may decide your brains are just what they need.
Finally, beware Greek Row on Halloweekend. It is a labyrinth full of treacherous creatures that you will not be able to escape if you delve too far in. With the clocks turning back, this year is especially dangerous since not even the strike of 2 a.m. will save you. Be careful, or you’ll join the ghosts of students who partied too hard and are condemned to eternity in a fraternity.