by Elke Coenders Some members of the Algonquin Round Table visited Centre recently. They took over a Cowan table. I eavesdropped and wrote down some things they said. Edna Ferber: “Being a business major is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to study.” Dorothy Parker: “I like to have a […]
Tag: CentOnion
Looking For a Job At Centre?
by Aelwen Iredale We all know that Centre is expensive; we complain about it all the time. Between tuition, room and board, meal plans, and all the money we spend avoiding staying on campus, we are all broke college students, as per usual. But what if I told you there was a solution? Centre has […]
The Two-Party Problem of America
by Cole Hiller In case you didn’t know, the election was this year. I didn’t know that until the day of the election, when I was researching the candidates frantically while being driven to the polling station. Personally, I was too wrapped up in Antarctica’s politics to pay attention to American politics, so I voted […]
The Chevans Secret
by Adam West Hello, dear reader. The Cento recently received a concerning letter and believe that it would be best, as a newspaper, to publish it for your enjoyment. We cannot confirm or deny anything in this message. However, if you have any information that may validate or disprove this email, please contact us at […]
CentOnion: Milton Resigns! Centre Students Elect Blue Moreland As President
by Natalie Warren, Editor-in-Chief 2022-2023 In a sudden turn of events, Dean Goldey announced on Monday that President Milton has entered into an early retirement. The reasons he cited were 1) His budget had suffered significant cuts due to funds being funneled toward light pole replacement, 2) The stress of the clock tower project was […]
First-Year Students Tremble in Fear as President Roush Stares into Their Souls
BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR The beginning of the school year is always an emotional time for students of Centre College, a small liberal arts institution in Danville, Kentucky. A time of reunion, regrouping, and reinvigoration, August at Centre also sees the induction of a new class, and every year that class is treated […]
College Students/Staff Shocked to Learn Not Everything They Read is True
BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR The college community of Centre College in Danville, Kentucky is reeling from recent allegations of their school newspaper publishing articles that are “purely fictional and does not necessarily reflect views of the [newspaper] or Centre College.” The College’s newspaper, The Cento, began a new recurring feature this year […]
Greek Students Dismayed to Find Their Big/Little “Not Perfect”
BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR The longstanding tradition of having a ‘big’ and ‘little’ is central to being a member of a fraternity and sorority, creating a bond between Greek members that can often transcend brotherhood or sisterhood. For many, it’s one of the closest bonds to be formed during their college years. […]
CentOnion: Student Life Office Announces the End of ‘No-Bake Wednesdays’
BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR In a stunning decision by the Centre College Student Life Office (SLO), the College administration announced plans to end the beloved ‘No-Bake Wednesday’ tradition so many students adore. The decision was communicated via a campus wide email to the student body last Thursday, stating that while the administration […]
Experts Discover Abraham Lincoln Conceived at Centre
By GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR In a stunning new historical development, Centre College administrative experts have determined, independent of the modern academic community, that the sixteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was conceived on what are now the footsteps of Old Centre. President Lincoln, known for his leadership during the American […]