by Hallie Gleeson Have you ever thought, “Wow, my friend’s Brock is so nice. I wish I could live there already?!” Instead, you probably reside in a broom closet on the third floor of some crumbling, mold-infested building. What if that was about to change? With the housing lottery finally finished, many students are bemoaning […]
Category: CentOnion
The CENTO Way to Pick Up Girls
By Linley Mueller and McKenzie Snellgrove When you walk into a frat party, what’s the first thing you see? For me, I see my friends! Of course, parties are also the place to pick up women! But, how do you get a woman to notice you? It’s hard to not be nervous, and we understand. […]
Rate My Students
By Aelwen Iredale We’ve all heard of Rate My Professor and the ability to warn students off of professors due to difficulty, workload, and personality. However, no one thinks about the poor professors who are forced to deal with horrible students year after year. So, what can they do? How can they warn their fellow […]
Hazing In Sororities
By Aelwen Iredale Rush has finished. Bid Day is completed. Littles and Bigs and united in bonds of sisterhood that will last until the end of time. And sororities take that literally; they bind that bond in blood. Tell me, what do you know about sorority hazing? Nothing, right? Exactly. Fraternities are the crazy organizations […]
New Changes In Spring Convocation Calendar
By Aelwen Iredale and Connor Parks To: students-request@lists.centre.edu From: amerika.wingstack@centre.edu Good morning, everyone! A number of revisions and additions to the Spring Term 2025 Convocation calendar have recently been made, reflected both on the document provided below and in the descriptions below. These events can also now be found under the Convocations page on CentreNet. […]
Night At the Library
By McKenzie Snellgrove What follows is an anonymous testimony of a Centre student trapped in the library overnight. What they saw has never been recorded or publicly shared, until now… It all started when I was up late studying in the library, like any good Centre student does during midterms. Working on a particularly difficult […]
Centre Announces Another New Study Abroad!
by Hallie Gleeson The staff of Centre Global are happy to announce the unveiling of another study abroad semester-away experience for students! After months of negotiations and international treaties spearheaded by the vast network of Centre’s alumni, the arrangements have been finalized. Now presenting “Stars, Sand, and Struggle: The Interplay of Egypt and Sudan,” a […]
Centre Announces New Study Abroad
By Anonymous Just this last week the Center Global announced the newest location to our study abroad roster, Centre-in-Antarctica! “Students will get a first hand experience with the effects of climate change on the polar ecosystem in a truly new way,” says a press release on the Centre Global website. They went on to say […]
Crime Made Easy: A Guide For Centre Colonels
by Anonymous Coalition, The “C.E.N.TO.” Hello! The C.E.N.T.O. believes that crime is good and should never pay. That is why, here at the Criminal’s Entertainment and Naughty Terrorist Organization, or The C.E.N.T.O. for short, we have decided to make this guide to help all Centre students, especially those who aren’t cowards and have guts, to […]
Ask Abe: Help, I Deserve Better
Dear Abe, I don’t think I deserved the grade I got on my exam, how should I go about fixing this? If a test defeats you, then you must retaliate by defeating it. Or, more precisely, you must defeat the person who created that test: your professor. When you stare at the failing grade on […]