Category: CentOnion

by Hallie Gleeson Fellow Colonels, check your calendars! You might note something unusual coming up—finals week is looking different this year! Well, that’s not exactly right…there is no finals week this year! Just a finals day!  Centre is trialing a new schedule this semester. Following health concerns over the copious amounts of caffeine consumed and […]

by Anonymous Welcome back to campus, Centre. I know we’re all excited for the school year to start, but before we get too worried about classes that we already have exams and papers in, we need to create the right tone for the year, and the best way to do so is with a decorated […]

by Anonymous  Yes, you read that right! I have finally found definitive proof that the Centre superstitions surrounding the seal in front of Old Centre are nothing more than a big, fat pile of LIES fed to us by the administration for years. Though I am choosing to remain anonymous, this fact should in no […]

by Aelwen Iredale As we have been repeatedly emailed about and seen copious marketing for, Centre now has a Summer Term. However, due to low registration numbers for Summer Term 2025, registration will be reopened for additional course options. For just the low, low price of $5,000, you can join Centre students on campus this […]

by McKenzie Snellgrove I encountered a squirrel today and saw mutiny in its eyes. Walking across campus in the beautiful weather, I have often found myself scanning the luscious green landscape and admiring the blossoms of spring. On this fateful day, however, my gazing was interrupted by a fat and furry squirrel sitting upright on […]

by Aelwen Iredale Finals season is around the corner, and now it is time to start preparing. But wait—are you about to go and study the content you learned? No, you need to do way more than that. Centre is a unique institution, and it prides itself on enlightenment—“Doctrina Lux Mentis” as they say. However, […]

by Hallie Gleeson Have you ever thought, “Wow, my friend’s Brock is so nice. I wish I could live there already?!” Instead, you probably reside in a broom closet on the third floor of some crumbling, mold-infested building. What if that was about to change? With the housing lottery finally finished, many students are bemoaning […]

By Linley Mueller and McKenzie Snellgrove When you walk into a frat party, what’s the first thing you see? For me, I see my friends! Of course, parties are also the place to pick up women! But, how do you get a woman to notice you? It’s hard to not be nervous, and we understand. […]

By Aelwen Iredale We’ve all heard of Rate My Professor and the ability to warn students off of professors due to difficulty, workload, and personality. However, no one thinks about the poor professors who are forced to deal with horrible students year after year.  So, what can they do? How can they warn their fellow […]

By Aelwen Iredale Rush has finished. Bid Day is completed. Littles and Bigs and united in bonds of sisterhood that will last until the end of time. And sororities take that literally; they bind that bond in blood. Tell me, what do you know about sorority hazing? Nothing, right? Exactly. Fraternities are the crazy organizations […]