by Oaffy Duckley Many months of investigative reporting have finally answered one of the student body’s most pressing questions over the last year: where is all our increased tuition money going? A financial report obtained by the CentOnion reveals the shocking truth: in Academic Year 2025-2026, $528,751 of Centre’s budget was earmarked for “caviar, Wagyu […]
Author: Cento
“Cocaine Quails” in Young Hall
by Cornelius Binghamfart the Third Filming has begun on Centre College’s campus for the exciting movie “Cocaine Quails,” a feature length film featuring the Cocaine Quails in the Young basement. Contrary to popular belief, Centre College does not have cocaine chickens. It has the next best, flightless thing: Cocaine Quails! These quails are native to […]
The Weather Update for First Week of April
by Aelwen Iredale There’s been rain. There’s been sun. There’s been every temperature we can imagine. And guess what? It’s not over with! We can all be very excited to deal with continually varying temperatures. So don’t put away your winter boots just yet—spring hasn’t sprung quite yet. Here’s the weather report for this week: […]
420 101: The Centre Cannabis Story
by Anonymous Weed is becoming more and more accessible at Centre College. There is a rising demand for this substance among Centre students and this demand is being met by an unexpected demographic: Danville high school students. These Danville locals are flooding Centre with so much weed that even the most seasoned of stoners would […]
A Review of Witch: A Play that Supports Satanism
by Cornelius Binghamfart the Third, President of the Association Against Blue Dogs The latest Centre College theater show, appropriately titled Witch, is filled with devil worshippers. The play horrendously includes a person playing a devil, and is a mockery of the theater program! This is exactly what Dungeons and Dragons and heavy metal music has […]
The Cento In Print: April Fools 2026
Happy April Fools from the Cento!
Centre Professor Hit By Truck on Campus – An Exclusive Interview
by Ollie Gibson and Charlesie Robison At approximately 3:40pm on March 3rd, Professor Tara Strauch was struck by a pickup truck as she crossed the intersection of College St. and W Walnut St. (i.e., Cowan to the Norton Center, pictured in featured image). As she was walking toward the parking lot, a truck driver rolled […]
Why are Centre’s Building Temperatures so Uncomfortable?
by Cole Hiller It’s the time of year that the weather is changing and the temperatures in classrooms and dorms feel uncomfortable. So, we at the Cento decided to do a poll over Instagram to see what students have to say about the temperature around campus. We took two polls to see if opinions changed […]
Take Our 25-26 Student Survey!
The Cento is conducting a survey to gather student opinions on various aspects about Centre College, such as the quality of food, housing, public safety, academics, staff, and more. Take 2-4 minutes out of your day to answer 20ish questions with us using the QR code below! (Unfiltered honesty encouraged in our free response section.) […]
I Don’t Want to Live in Breck (And it’s Not Why You Think)
by Duffy Oakley As my final year living in Breckinridge Hall starts to come to a close, I might be forgiven for questioning why the housing gods always decide to curse me (having condemned me to Nasty Nev my first year). But instead, I am questioning why anyone at all lives in Breck. You might […]