Dear Abe,
Abe Help. What do? Dropped Waffle 🙁
5 Second Rule ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hey Abe, my therapist says I need to take a break but I don’t know how to take time for myself. Class work is piling up and I feel like I don’t have time to spare. What should I do?
Drop out.
Abe, what would you do if someone took your laundry out of the dorm dryer before it was done?
Burn the dryer and them inside it.
Abe?
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Abe help Professor Osanloo killed me. My workshop piece sucked and she got me. What do I do?
I support Professor Osanloo’s rights and wrongs.
What is the John C. Young? How do I apply?
Bro, that was due like weeks ago. Ur cooked.
How do you feel about the controversy with the Harlen statue?
That SOB has been sucking up all the attention since the moment he walked on campus. Did you know that book he’s holding is actually blank? Yea, bet you didn’t. He’s not being productive, he’s just a poser sitting over there pretending to write. I, on the other hand, am diligently reading, but nobody’s talking about that, are they? Noooo, everybody forgets about me the moment the new guy gets on campus. Buncha posers, all of you. I see you over there, having to swerve around his concrete maze just to get your smoothies from the Hall of Fame (I know what you do in there, don’t pretend you’ve been working out). He complicates the whole layout of campus, forces everyone to stare at him whenever they pass, and the whole time he’s just sitting there basking in his adoring fans and paparazzi. Also, he’s bald and unc and chopped.