by Connor Parks
2006 Ford Crown Victoria LX, owned by Leo Ehrenfels
Want to see your ride featured? Feel free to submit it by contacting our interim reviewer at leigh.wingfeld@centre.edu.
Here it is, folks. After all this time holding the basically meaningless title of the Cento’s one and only car reviewer (for now), I’ve finally found it: peak car. Not the best car by any means, but the one that just evokes that classic sense of…well, what a car is. The Ford Crown Victoria was perhaps the most ubiquitous car in America during its production run from 1992 to 2012. Branching off from being a higher trim level of the earlier Ford LTD, and going through two distinct generations during its existence, over 3.2 million of these things rolled off the production line. Most were immediately snatched up by contracts with nearly every police force and taxi company in the US, but you could also purchase one brand new for fairly cheap.
Yet aside from the extreme ease in finding replacement parts, it’s no wonder why so many still buy these cheap from retired taxi and police auction houses and keep them as backup drivers: mass produced and built to survive the apocalypse, a good Crown Vic simply doesn’t die. The “Panther Body” platform (encompassing this generation of Crown Vic, Lincoln Town Car, and Mercury Grand Marquis) is widely regarded as being one of the most reliable cars ever built, and used examples are now some of the best bang for your buck (in terms of reliability) in buying a used car. Leo’s dad bought this 2006 example from an over 90-year old family friend and drove it every day for over a decade to work, and following some major trouble in another car on the way down to Kentucky, he decided to lend it to Leo for the semester. I couldn’t guarantee him it would be the most exciting car ownership experience, but he’s bound for perhaps the most reliable automotive days of his life.
The Crown Vic’s interior was about as standard as I expected it to be, yet it held a few surprising features to compliment its inviting mid-2000s American feel. The two seats up front were some of the widest I’ve been in, easily capable of fitting two people each. Both came with individual folding armrests which would make any long distance road trip a comfortable breeze, especially with the fully leather interior. The dashboard comes with a panel each for both climate controls and entertainment (a modest CD player and different radio settings), accented by a subtle line of wood trim. Both the heating/air and stereo systems worked excellently for a 20 year old car, with the rear speakers really surprising me with their clarity. The adjusting options for both front seats were electronically controlled with seat-shaped buttons beside the door handles, which I thought was a unique and efficient way to adjust while driving. The doors also included Ford’s standard mid-2000 keyless entry door codes, revolutionary for the time, and a lock in the storage pocket which could lock or unlock the trunk from the inside of the car, a feature I’ll never mechanically understand. The leather and wood steering wheel includes plenty of control features for audio, phone calls, and more, while a digital compass is available in the top light panel along with a digital thermometer in the climate panel.
Around back, the Crown Vic’s rear seats provided much better legroom than I had expected, as well as some of the deepest and widest seatback pockets I’ve ever seen and a pair of very ergonomic door handles. Despite the lack of door lights and general lack of “interesting” features, the rear was equally as comfortable as the front and felt like it belonged to a much newer car than it actually did. The trunk was nothing short of cavernous, even with a spare tire, 2 totes, and plenty of car product bottles like Leo keeps in his. Seeing as I could have laid down in it with room to spare, it’s easy to see why everyone used these cars as taxis, police cruisers, and government vehicles: the space (for the type of car that the Crown Vic is) was simply unmatched at the time. Up front, meanwhile, the broad hood (only able to be opened with a firm slam of the door after pulling the lever) conceals the car’s greatest asset: the legendary 4.6 litre V8 which, at up to 239 horsepower, has powered many a Crown Vic past one million miles and much, much further. With Leo’s example sitting at a measly 173,500 miles, I’m certain that despite all the fixable issues, this thing will be on the road far beyond any of us could possibly imagine.
Driving the Crown Vic was an unsurprisingly smooth and sturdy experience. It wasn’t the most luxurious I’ve had, but it was as invitingly pleasant as any Sunday afternoon drive with your great-grandparents as a young kid. Acceleration was decently quick with the strong V8, and braking was fairly smooth: definitely not something you could whip around quickly or race around a circuit, but exactly what an executive sedan should be. The ride’s real perks come from the plush leather seats, which were incredibly easy to sink into and settle in for any long road trip (of which Leo says this car has taken many). From the wood trim, to the chrome door handles, to the wide, armrested driver’s seat, the entire experience felt stately and refined. This particular example has its quirks, sure: it seriously doesn’t like anything past third gear, and wants to slip back into second as soon as you take your foot off the gas, but it gains speed comfortably unless you’re going uphill. The seats were moderately ripped, it had a fairly serious oil leak, there’s plenty of scratches and dents to go around, but I truly believe all of these get at the best sense of what the Crown Vic was always envisioned to be: a workhorse, tough-as-nails, powerhouse of a sedan to be used by anyone for any purpose. From a million-mile taxi beater to a CEO’s chauffeured company car, it was Ford’s last (and perhaps best) attempt at providing basic, durable transportation for the masses at a reasonable price.
It’s almost sad, then, how the second generation Crown Victoria speaks to me as a car enthusiast. This is a fantastic relic of what a new car once was, and what I believe one always should be. I feel too young to genuinely dive into a “they don’t make ‘em like they used to” monologue, but driving around in a beater mid-2000s Crown Victoria- far before screens and inevitable automatic features became the impossible-to-self-repair norm- felt like a return to a world of analogue automotive simplicity which I unfortunately barely missed out on. They gradually disappeared as cop cars and charter taxis right before my eyes, something I think so many people my age didn’t truly process until they were all gone. Yet for those Panther bodies that remain, potential owners are fortunate enough to have at their disposal one of the most unkillable cars ever produced, capable of being loved, languished, and reclaimed time and time again. At the risk of sounding cliche, with each driven mile comes countless new memories, and a late model Crown Victoria may just be the most reliable way to squeeze every last beautiful moment out of every day behind the wheel- for a million miles and beyond.