by Anonymous
My first two years at Centre were hard, especially as someone struggling with my mental health. I was lonely, depressed, and it really affected me in my classes. I would skip class, not do my homework, and spend most of my time curled up in my bed thinking about how embarrassed I was for not doing those things, which only made me want to do them less. And the worst part of it all, was how helpless I felt. I felt like this was something I had to deal with on my own, felt like I had to drag myself through this. It was like the world’s worst juggling act, and I was slipping and falling at every turn. It didn’t matter if I took my meds, used self care apps, or watched that one youtube video of a kiwi bird that feels like shooting serotonin straight through my veins, it felt like I was doomed to be miserable during a time that everyone says is supposed to be the best four years of your life.
But, I am happy to announce that these feelings did not last. While my mental health isn’t perfect, it is slowly getting better every day, and more manageable as well. And one of the things that has helped me the most, is realizing I am not the only one struggling like this. And so I wanted to offer my own pieces of advice, say what has worked for me over the years, and encourage anyone who is also struggling to not give up. Because I know, it feels like you’re broken. It feels like everyone is having the time of their lives, and you are the problem. But I promise you, that is not the case, and once you can realize that, you can start working towards getting help.
The very first thing I will recommend is going to your professors. They want to help you, but they can’t if they don’t know what’s going on. Too many times I have waited until the last minute to talk to my professors, and they would respond saying they wish they could have helped me if they had only known sooner. The moment you feel like you are in that dark place, that things might be getting worse, reach out to your professors. Let them work with you, figure out what will be the best solution at the moment so you can get back on your feet and not have to fall behind or give up. One of my professors once asked me to ask myself what was more important to me: getting a good grade, or learning. This phrase has really resonated with me, this idea that I shouldn’t be focusing on grades and assignments, but rather a desire to learn. It helped return my motivation to return to class, making me wish to go not for the grade, but because I wanted to learn. I was interested in the content, the professor, and the discussion.
Another thing is to get out of your room. I once saw Tiktok that quoted the phrase “Depression can’t hit a moving target” and I have been thinking about this quote and how true it is. For me, depression was like a snake eating its own tail. I was lonely, so I would be depressed, so I wouldn’t go anywhere, so I would get lonely, and it would keep on going until I was spiraling. I recommend finding a group, whether that be a club, a sports team, a study group, or just some close friends. Anyone to be around, to get you out of your room, to preoccupy your mind. I’m not telling you to throw yourself to the frats and do things that make you uncomfortable, but allow yourself to say yes to others. Anything to free up your mind, even if it’s just for an hour.
Finally, Parsons’. While regular weekly therapy can be hard to schedule, do not be scared to go in even if it’s just for one visit. Having someone to talk to helps a lot more than you realize, and sometimes being able to just get it all out in words rather than letting it stew within your mind will do more than you realize. Everyone there is so incredibly supportive, and willing to let you either yap until time is up, or just cry into a pillow if you need to.
And always, remember to reach out to anyone if you are feeling like things aren’t getting better. Whether that be a professor, counselor, or calling any of the numbers listed on your ID card. Mental health is hard, it’s scary, and it can make you feel like you are drowning while everyone else knows how to swim, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can swim too, just as much as everyone else can. I promise, it will get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it now.
Much love, from a student who has gone through the same thing, and is getting a little bit better every day.