Abhishek Basnet
Nothing in this world makes me feel as old as the Cowan aux does. Now, don’t get me wrong. They certainly play classics and I have no qualms about it. But a person can do without feeling like they’ve already hit unc status in their freshmen year. I mean, most of the music they play comes from the 70’s to 2010’s!
But snark aside, the fine folks at Cowan certainly do know their music and I appreciate that, which is why I’m taking the pain to compile some of their songs into neat little rankings and brief reviews (totally not biased). Note that this solely reflects my subjective opinion, and I am no Anthony Fantano, as will be clear soon enough. I also certainly didn’t feel the whiplash going from “Kung Fu Fighting” to “Iris” on my re-created Cowan aux playlist.
Billie Jean – Michael Jackson
10/10: There’s a reason why MJ is known as the King of Pop and rightly so. It truly is unfair to play this while I’m in the midst of grabbing some food. Makes me want to break out and moon-walk while shouting “BILLIE JEAN” at the top of my lungs.
If you ever hear somebody shatter their plate while eating at Cowan, you’d better just know that they played this banger.
People Are People – Depeche Mode
9.5/10: I truly relate with the message of this song from the bottom of my soul. How come we all don’t get along despite being just “people” at the end of the day? Last night, I saw somebody putting peanut butter on their pizza, but it was all good since this song was on the aux.
Oh, and there’s a pretty good chance that you can sometimes catch me humming “I can’t understand what makes a man hate another man” at Cowan. Just letting y’all know I’m chill like that…
I Ran (So Far Away) – A Flock Of Seagulls
9.5/10: The statement “I’d never thought I’d meet a girl like you” has led many people to their doom, but what would I know about that? I’m just a humble music reviewer.
Word of advice: watch out for folks with auburn hair and tawny eyes lest they hypnotize you. You wouldn’t want that, would you now?
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
9.5/10: You know the music goes hard when you see somebody fall down to their knees and start sobbing uncontrollably once it starts playing in Cowan.
Everybody Wants To Rule The World – Tears for Fears
9.5/10: Who cares that an entire generation of kids will grow up associating this song with Skibidi Toilet edits? Tears for Fears will always have a place at my aux, at least. And in the aux of anybody who is anybody. I rest my case.
Bring Me To Life – Evanescence
9/10: Watching hundreds of AMVs and edits made me truly appreciate this song. And I’ll unabashedly proclaim that I am fond of it. TO THIS DAY!!
All of the Lights – Kanye West
9/10: Remember when Kanye assembled the Avengers for this one song? From Elton John to John Legend to Rihanna, don’t let its common status as a “meme/hype” song fool you. This song can hold its own against other excellent songs from an equally excellent album (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy). In fact, I’d argue that this song surpasses Runaway on the album, but that is a topic for another time…
Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) – Journey
9/10: This song might be overplayed, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t go hard. Makes me wanna rip out my shirt while cracking open a cold one. HELL YEAH!
Paradise City – Guns N’ Roses
9/10: It’s the guitar, I’m telling you (God bless Slash). But seriously, this song has everything going for it. Powerful vocals. Amazing rhythm. And oh, did I mention Slash’s guitar work again?
Dreams – Fleetwood Mac
9/10: This song is the epitome of “praying that my favorite band has a downfall so they can produce a banger.” If you know, you know.
Young Turks – Rod Stewart
9/10: Ah, don’t you just love it when romance is in the air? Here’s to all the couples on campus. Remember that y’all have Rod Stewart and all the time in this world on your side. Let the young hearts be free tonight!
Sorry to all the single peeps out there. But hey, the music hits hard though.
Everlong – Foo Fighters
9/10: I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for “dad rock.” Shoutout to all my fellow uncs and dads out there. Y’all rock!
As an honorable unc myself, if nobody got me, I know Foo Fighters got me.
Owner of a Lonely Heart – Yes
9/10: I aspire to be as weird as this song!
Umbrella – Rihanna (feat. Jay-Z)
8/10: 10/10 if it is raining outside and I have an umbrella with me.
True Love – Kanye West and XXXTentacion
8/10: Beautiful vocals and sentimental lyrics. Short but sweet. This song gets the job done.
We Like To Party! (The Vengabus) – Vengaboys
8/10: Fun song, but it does feel too gimmicky upon re-listening (and now the beat is stuck in my head).
The Scotts – Travis Scott and Kid Cudi
7.5/10: Both Travis Scott and Kid Cudi have much better to offer. Granted, it is a very chill song and knowing that Travis Scott idolized Cudi makes this song more endearing.
Lonely – Akon
Lonely/10: Old banger, but I fear that those Alvin and the Chipmunks brainrot reels on my Instagram feed have permanently warped my brain against anything high pitched. Mom was right. It truly is the damn phone… Besides, it also feels out of touch (out of vibe?) at Cowan. I’m just trying to eat my food while having a good time with friends, ya feel me?
Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas
Nostalgic/10
Other Notable Songs
Keep On Loving You – REO Speedwagon
9.5/10
Dancing Queen – ABBA
9.5/10
Another One Bites The Dust – Queen
9/10
Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day
9/10
Maneater – Hall & Oates
9/10
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) – Dead or Alive
9/10
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper – Blue Öyster Cult
8.5/10
Any Way You Want It – Journey
8.5/10
American Boy – Estelle (feat. Kanye West)
8/10
Day N Nite – Kid Cudi
8/10
Honorable Mention
Piano Rendition of Buddy Holly
Shoutout to the skilled pianist that played an excellent rendition of Buddy Holly by Weezer!