by Daniel Covington
It’s getting closer and closer to Christmas! Here at the Cento, we have compiled a list of gifts suitable for Centre students. Whether you are a fellow student, staff member, or parent of a Centre student, these 10 gifts would be perfect for any Centre student. Be sure to order soon, if you haven’t already!
- A bottle of the good stuff – Preferably something with an unsettling high alcohol content. This is something any Centre student would love. This is something they can share with friends and family. This will enable a student to have as much fun or pain on the weekends and if you are really struggling with classes, during the week.
- Melatonin pills – Without this, having a roommate would be a nightmare.
- Harry Potter/Chat-GPT magic wand – Ever wanted your assignments to get done in a flash? Well Harry Potter and Chat-GPT have partnered up to make a wand just for students. It’s not enough that you’re paying thousands to go to Centre College. Why put in the hard work? Just wave the wand and press submit!
- Ramen – Cant ever get late night? Need a budget and nutritious source of food for a late night study? Look no further than this classic staple!
- Centre Candle – Almost all dorms on campus come with a stuffy mold smell. Light a candle and feel the heat and good smells coming your way. DPS approved!
- Way-too-fast electric scooter – Need a faster way to class? Don’t have time for a 3 minute walk? Look no further than an electric scooter. Race to class with a blistering 50mph speed, and enjoy almost hitting every other walking shmuck! Just don’t overcharge the battery or you will have to sleep somewhere else that night.
- Mini Harlan statue for your dorm – A figure that hopefully reminds you that times will never be as dark as the one he represents.
- Industrial-grade construction noise-cancelling headphones – We have all suffered from the Centre fire alarms. Now, combined with your Melatonin, you can cancel out the noise of the fire and sleep peacefully. Whether it’s a real or a fake fire, you will not be awoken from your slumber.
- Large personal salt shaker – Cowan potatoes are never salty enough. It’s not enough to taste the salt—we need to see the salt!