By Aelwen Iredale
We’ve all heard of Rate My Professor and the ability to warn students off of professors due to difficulty, workload, and personality. However, no one thinks about the poor professors who are forced to deal with horrible students year after year.
So, what can they do? How can they warn their fellow faculty members that the student they’re about to have will sleep in class and go against every class opinion in a discussion for the fun of it?
Simple: Rate My Students.
Rate My Students is a fantastic new review website for professors, by professors. Are you an English professor who wants to bang your head against the wall when students complain about stupid decisions of characters instead of the meaning or the work? Are you a math professor wondering how a student doesn’t know FOIL in college? Are you a film professor realizing you’re schooling the next generation of pompous film bros? Here is where you can warn your colleagues about the up-and-coming students’ behaviors!
A few samples of reviews below demonstrate just how useful a warning is about unusual or talented (sometimes both) students.
Hayley Joyson (MAT 185)
Quality: 5.0
- Showed up with work completed, asked questions in office hours, and legitimately wanted to learn. (You want this student. I promise you.)
Difficulty: 2.0
- I assigned mountains and she did all of it every time. Honestly, I was expecting pushback, but it turns out this nerd is all work and no play. I used this to my advantage and abused my power to give her more work. Honestly, it was entertaining to watch her force herself to work harder.
Attendance: 3.0
- She dared to miss a class! Horrible! Awful! Yeah, sure, she got her work done, but how can you succeed if you miss any class, even if you’re sick? I’m extremely disappointed in her.
Additional Notes: If you’re bored in class, watch her be stuck with a slacker. The slow descent to madness is hilarious.
Noel Palhoun (ANT 347)
Quality: 3.0
- He asked me questions I couldn’t answer in class. Why? Why did he do this? I needed the respect of the students, and I lost it. At least he was interested.
Difficulty: 5.0
- Yeah, he did all the work, and he’s smart, but how was I supposed to make him struggle? He came and asked questions and then just got it. I’m a college professor. He’s supposed to suffer. To whoever his next professor is, please make him suffer. Students aren’t supposed to win the battle, professors are.
Attendance: 2.0
- He constantly skipped class for supposed “research programs.” I didn’t believe it, and I still don’t. I think he schemed to learn math faster than I can teach it. What a sneak.
Additional Notes: He has a very expressive face. It’s really funny to watch.
Nathaniel D. Salley (PHI 255)
Quality: 4.0
- He knew his stuff. Somehow, even through all the chaos and stupid little grins and contrarian arguments, he knew what I’m teaching him and miraculously performed well on tests. I want to know how he does it, if only to twist the assignments to finally make him fail.
Difficulty: 5.0
- He might know the content, but he’ll pretend he disagrees with anything just to have a debate. One day, I’m going to lose it and duct tape his mouth closed. It’s the only option to preserve peace at Centre.
Attendance: 2.0
- He’s there, but he’s asleep. I don’t have the energy to wake him up. Honestly, I think I’m afraid of what he would be like with a full night’s rest.
Additional Notes: I think he might be a supernatural creature. A cryptid or something sent to haunt the halls of Centre College and terrorize professors.
Ryker Pairry (PHY 230)
Quality: 3.0
- He tried hard, that’s for sure. Good kid, engaged. Nothing I could do to help his confusion, though. I explained one concept a million times, and he still went and did all the work the opposite way. Quite a disappointment there.
Difficulty: 1.0
- He didn’t complain about the work to me and tried to complete it on time, which was great for a professor like me, but I have a suspicion he didn’t sleep. The bags under his eyes spoke volumes.
Attendance: 3.0
- He was present most of the time, but he was one of those people with a terrible immune system and got sick a lot. (My personal theory: partying too much. He looked like one of those guys).
Additional Notes: He has a friend who is a terrible influence. That kid scares me and threatens to infect Ryker with ridiculousness.
Emily Clark (PSY 210)
Quality: 5.0
- She will definitely talk about random topics in class and in office hours with you as if you’re a friend, but she’s also engaged with all the work, does the assignments, and pays attention in class. I have no complaints. Honestly, her weird chats are fun.
Difficulty: 1.0
- She talks a big game and will joke about not doing work, but she’ll get it done. Let her burn the frustration out of herself.
Attendance: 4.0
- She shows up, but sometimes I wonder at what cost? I’ve seen a million tired students, and she really hits it out of the park in terms of looking exhausted.
Additional Notes: During any fall class, she just stares at the autumn leaves mournfully. I’m not sure what is going on in her head, but it worries me.