by Elke Coenders
Some members of the Algonquin Round Table visited Centre recently. They took over a Cowan table. I eavesdropped and wrote down some things they said.
Edna Ferber: “Being a business major is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to study.”
Dorothy Parker:
“I like to have a White Claw,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
After four I’m running the Flame.”
Franklin P. Adams: “The trouble with Northside is that there are too many residents who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that all of the fire alarms are false alarms all of the time.”
Dorothy Parker: “You can play Chappell Roan at the frats, but you can’t make them twinks.”
Robert E. Sherwood: “Nobody expects him to be normal—he’s a Cento writer.”
Alexander Woollcott: “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or outside of Danville.”
Franklin P. Adams: “To err is human; to forgive, infrequent; to follow you around at Centre, a given.”
Heywood Braun: “YikYak is as likely to be wrong as anybody else.”
Alexander Woollcott: “A Beta party is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn’t go.”
Robert Benchley: “There are two kinds of people in the world, those who know how to drive golf carts, and DPS.”
George S. Kaufman: “I didn’t like the class, but then I took it under adverse conditions—it was at 8 am.”
Dorothy Parker: “I hate Moodle; It cuts in on my social life.”