A Freshman’s First Frat Party

by Logan Ward

As I write this, I am recovering from what some are calling the “frat flu.” It is without question the strangest illness I’ve ever suffered from, and I tested negative for both COVID and the flu. It leaves me with a persistent cough and stuffy nose (though, as of now, the latter has faded). Frat flu is sneaky, fluctuating wildly. You may be fine one day, then down the next.

I’m not sure exactly where, when, or how I contracted the frat flu. However, given that I attended all three parties… there’s a lot of options.

So, let’s venture back to last Friday, when the frats threw their first parties of the year. Here was my experience at all three of them:

RIP Jimmy Buffett (Phi Kappa Tau)

Phi Tau’s “RIP Jimmy Buffett”-themed party was where I began the night of the fifteenth.

With a vibe as chill as the singer they sought to memorialize, the Phi Tau House was the perfect place to start the night. The dance floor hadn’t filled up yet, so I had plenty of room to flail wildly, screaming whatever lyrics I could remember from the songs blasting from the speakers.

The party would remain the far less crowded of the two that were thrown that night, and thus would prove a nice space for any and all wishing to decompress from the madness of Deke. Plus, deep respect for the theme.

 

The Barbie Party (Delta Kappa Epsilon)

Deke. Where do I begin with Deke?

To preface, I enjoyed my time there. Theme? Perfect. But nothing could prepare me for what I’d experience when I walked into the Deke House’s doors.
You know you have entered a true frat party when you walk in and the party enters you back — when a cloud of sweat, body odor, and other substances crash into you, every liquid in the room evaporated and combined with one another. The temperature rose about twenty degrees. My glasses fogged. In front of me were dozens of college students moshing under color-changing neon strobe lights in a room I thought would be much bigger.

Foolishly, I stepped up onto the center platform and started to dance. Soon, I found myself trapped. I was at the mercy of the dozens of bodies crashing up against me.

I was going to die there in the Deke mosh pit.

Then… I finally found myself in a situation where I could apply a skill learned during freshman orientation. I tapped the shoulders of those around me, begging them to let me escape, and proceeded to inch myself out of the madness to a place with much more standing room.

After that, it was actually pretty fun. So, the moral of the story, prospective partiers: know your limits and don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the situation if things get too uncomfortable. It’s not lame, plus you’ll have much more fun than you would pretending there was nothing wrong in the first place.

In the end, my night at the Deke party was a very fun one overall.

 

Endless Summer Party (Beta Theta Pi)

After a long night of partying, I took it easy the next morning. I ventured out to the farmer’s market in downtown Danville, a spot I’d recommend to all looking for something fun and relaxing to do on a Saturday morning (especially after a long night of partying).

Then, I was back at it. Beta was a nice mix between the crowded Deke party and the less so Phi Tau party. I found myself near the DJ’s booth at this one, singing a rendition of “Country Girl (Shake it for Me)” that was much louder on video than it was in person. Oh well. Shame on me for enjoying great art, I guess.

 

At the end of the night, I’d had a fun time that would quickly be followed by something not-so-fun. I’ve mostly recovered from the frat flu at this point. Take my experience as a warning to stay safe out there colonels, or you’ll have a frat flu story to tell yourself.