By Aelwen Iredale<\/p>\n
Hear ye, hear ye! Attention all students! Have you noticed some changes on your walks across Centre\u2019s campus? Don\u2019t worry, you\u2019re not going crazy. Centre is simply implementing new, stricter pathways. We can all agree that cement is an ugly blight across the beautiful green grass that Centre spends all of its money cutting, watering, and preening. Therefore, Centre has decided there is little need for paths between buildings. Besides one single path around the periphery of Centre\u2019s campus, there will be no sidewalks cutting through lush lawns.
\nIndeed, this policy has already begun to be implemented. The sensible walkway from the back of Breck to Greek Row has been torn away. Soon, the diagonal paths from between Olin and Young towards the Campus Centre will be replaced with grass that we will not be permitted to walk through, despite it being the most efficient path. Don\u2019t believe me? Just look at how Centre administration resists our desire path going through the patch of grass in front of the John Marshall Harlan statue. It is not our fault they removed a quick route to Sutcliffe and replaced it with a treacherous gravel path because, obviously, Centre cannot have us destroying their precious grass.
\nSo, students, beware! Soon, Centre will have no efficient cut-throughs, only sidewalks with sharp angles that transform your five-minute walk into a fifteen-minute trek\/voyage\/etc. To remain efficient, you have to learn to fly! Be on the lookout. One day, we may never be allowed to step on Centre\u2019s grass again. After all, it\u2019s far more precious than our times<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Aelwen Iredale Hear ye, hear ye! Attention all students! Have you noticed some changes on your walks across Centre\u2019s campus? Don\u2019t worry, you\u2019re not going crazy. Centre is simply implementing new, stricter pathways. We can all agree that cement is an ugly blight across the beautiful green grass that Centre spends all of its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-centonion","category-multimedia-new"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9444"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9445,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9444\/revisions\/9445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}