{"id":9245,"date":"2026-04-01T16:28:29","date_gmt":"2026-04-01T20:28:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=9245"},"modified":"2026-04-01T16:28:29","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T20:28:29","slug":"tuition-hike-funds-lavish-dinners-global-vacations-for-centres-first-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2026\/04\/01\/tuition-hike-funds-lavish-dinners-global-vacations-for-centres-first-dog\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuition hike funds lavish dinners, global vacations for Centre\u2019s First Dog"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Oaffy Duckley<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many months of investigative reporting have finally answered one of the student body\u2019s most pressing questions over the last year: where is all our increased tuition money going? A financial report obtained by the CentOnion reveals the shocking truth: in Academic Year 2025-2026, $528,751 of Centre\u2019s budget was earmarked for \u201ccaviar, Wagyu kibble and dog treat accoutrements\u201d under the General Fund for the President\u2019s First Dog. That\u2019s right\u2026 Blue the dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even more shocking, Blue has apparently racked up over a million dollars in travel expenses, with first-class airline tickets and hotel bookings revealing the pup\u2019s luxurious vacation destinations, including Canc\u00fan, Tahiti, and various resorts along the Mediterranean coast, all written off as \u201cevaluating study abroad programs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When pressed for comment, Centre’s First Dog descended into an angry barking fit before running off to harass a student\u2019s emotional support animal. In a statement to the CentOnion, the Executive Office of the President said, \u201cThese allegations are totally meritless, and the supposed findings of this sham \u2018investigative report\u2019 are quite obviously fabricated. Centre College maintains a strict policy of absolute non-transparency in all financial matters and would never allow our expenditure of tuition dollars to fall so carelessly into public view, much less face accountability for it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has also been reported that Centre\u2019s public relations team is currently working overtime and devoting untold resources to recoup Blue\u2019s public image on Instagram (and, allegedly, YikYak). We were assured by the administration, however, that this social media campaign\u2019s near-infinite budget is a fiscally tolerable use of the College\u2019s funds since it is balanced out by student workers earning minimum wage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many Centre students are understandably outraged by these earth-shattering revelations. To demonstrate their grievances against the mishandling of their tuition dollars by Centre\u2019s most pampered puppy, an anti-Blue student organization calling themselves Centre Rage for Economic Democracy (RED) are organizing a protest outside Blue\u2019s doghouse (referred to by RED as a palatial \u201cdogmansion\u201d). They are inviting all students enraged by the First Dog\u2019s financial excesses to join them in a peaceful demonstration next Thursday where they will symbolically burn their tuition statements in protest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The shameless face of greed (@centrefirstdog on Instagram)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Oaffy Duckley Many months of investigative reporting have finally answered one of the student body\u2019s most pressing questions over the last year: where is all our increased tuition money going? A financial report obtained by the CentOnion reveals the shocking truth: in Academic Year 2025-2026, $528,751 of Centre\u2019s budget was earmarked for \u201ccaviar, Wagyu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9246,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9245"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9247,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9245\/revisions\/9247"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}