by Aelwen Iredale<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We all know that Centre is expensive; we complain about it all the time. Between tuition, room and board, meal plans, and all the money we spend avoiding staying on campus, we are all broke college students, as per usual. But what if I told you there was a solution? Centre has several new Work-Study programs ready to employ engaged, eager (desperate) students. Take a look below. Who knows? You might find the perfect job fit for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Study Abroad Scouts<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Centre prides itself on study abroad opportunities, but how do they get their ideas and sites? Easy\u2014scouts. Dropped in the middle of nowhere, these intrepid, courageous explorers get to hitchhike across countries to discover the perfect cities for Centre students while getting the thrill of their lives. Meet strange new people, stay in weird hostels, and trek through perilous forests, mountains, and winding city streets! Who wouldn\u2019t want such an adventure? And your fellow students will thank you for helping them once they arrive in a lovely city thanks to your trials and tribulations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Qualifications: Fearless, reckless, proficient in hand-gestures for communication when you don\u2019t know the language, dumb enough to apply<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compensation: Free 365 meals three times a week and a Centre backpack for your hitchhiking adventures<\/p>\n\n\n\n DPS Student Position<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you a snitch? Do you just love following rules and being a condescending prick when other people don\u2019t? Are you an all-around annoying and boring person? Then the Department of Public Safety has the perfect job for you! You could be a student worker with the DPS, reporting when people break rules. You can even prowl the streets in your little golf cart and run over those who seek to undermine the power of DPS on Centre\u2019s campus. Fun, right? The perfect opportunity for a young goody-two-shoes who wants to become a total party-pooper (and literally stop parties on campus, no matter how fun).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Qualifications: Was a narc in kindergarten, rule-follower, brags that they don\u2019t drink or smoke or do anything \u201cagainst the rules\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compensation: Golf cart, adorable little badge kissing ass, a boot to lick<\/p>\n\n\n\n YikYak Troll<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n We all know that YikYak is an important part of college culture. After all, we need somewhere to be anonymous jerks, laugh at various parts of Centre without worry of being identified, and whine about the daily struggles of being a student. But someone has to start<\/em> the drama, and that someone could be you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Qualifications: Expert gossiper, shit-starter, nosey, funny, a backbone of steel for when people attack you for your trolling<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compensation: Access to premium wifi speeds for all your streaming purposes, therapy when people bully you, and insider information of all Centre drama for your trolling purposes<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lab Assistant<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you want to create life? Does your heart desire to wreak havoc on the natural order of the world? Are you obsessed with Frankenstein<\/em>? Then Division III of Centre has the perfect job opening for you\u2014lab assistant in a dingy dungeon. Follow our resident mad scientists into the tunnels below Yerkes and discover the secrets of life as seen through science and ethically questionable experiments. What are you waiting for? It\u2019s time to make a monster for Centre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Qualifications: Not squeamish, down to grave-rob, in 300-level Division III courses<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compensation: Salary for your troubles (to keep you quiet), mad-scientist lab coat<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sewage Cleaner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You may have heard of the devastating Cowan sewage incident, so Centre College must prepare for another crisis. We need you to step up and help clean up Cowan when it floods. When our next sewage disaster arrives, you will be armed to the teeth with a hazmat suit and mop, ready to save the day and rescue our food!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Qualifications: Nose-blind, being a sewer rat in a student\u2019s body, ready to die for Cowan food<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compensation: Extra swipes each week, influence over what is served each day, and perfume\/cologne to deal with the smell<\/p>\n\n\n\n If any of the above jobs have piqued your interest, please contact the Cento at 1-800-MOCKERY so that your application can be started. It\u2019s time to get involved at Centre. Don\u2019t waste a second! Call now!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Aelwen Iredale We all know that Centre is expensive; we complain about it all the time. Between tuition, room and board, meal plans, and all the money we spend avoiding staying on campus, we are all broke college students, as per usual. But what if I told you there was a solution? Centre has […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":8655,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-8654","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-centonion","tag-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8654"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8654\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8656,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8654\/revisions\/8656"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8655"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}