by Anonymous<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Centre College is a food desert. Okay, no, not really\u2014I can admit when I\u2019ve crossed the line into sensationalism. But there\u2019s only so much stale bagel and cold flatbread a stomach can handle before the dramatics set in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I even set foot on campus, I knew I would never be fully satisfied by the measly selection of cuisine. And now, a year in, the hunger pains\u2014and my disappointment\u2014grow ever stronger. They say not to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, but I\u2019m not sure what the popular advice for writing columns for student newspapers is. Perhaps the consensus is that hunger makes one honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s get into it, then: a mostly-honest-but-sort-of-mean review of Centre\u2019s \u201cpremier dining options.\u201d I\u2019m not sure how to sate these ravenous cravings, but I\u2019m always down to speak the snarky truth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Flame Caf\u00e9 <\/strong>is forgettable, infamously overpriced, and fails to fulfill its primary objective of satisfying late night cravings. When Taco Bell is the more cost effective and tasty option, I think it\u2019s time to admit failure. Sure, the switch-up from Mediterranean to chicken is at least a novelty, but the skimpy portions and outrageous pricing haven\u2019t changed. Mid chicken fingers, empty burrito bowls, lukewarm gyros\u2014it\u2019s all the same. Even faced with the abysmal selection of campus dining locations, this one barely gets any visits from me. I\u2019ll starve before I spend $15 on three spinach leaves and a tomato.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Champion\u2019s Hall<\/strong>: the latest addition to our paltry dining options. I\u2019ll admit, at the end of last semester, as assignments were piling up and I realized I had flex dollars to burn, I happily dumped my dollars on cookie dough and fruit cups. Now, the shine of the new store has started to fade. The random assortment of junk food hurts even my sweet tooth. Plus it\u2019s so expensive, and to add insult to injury, we can see the original prices! Sheesh. Convenient, sure. Painful and sort of spectacularly unhealthy for a building centered around athletics? Yep. That\u2019s the fuel of champions, all right\u2026 Plus, do y\u2019all remember when the 24\/7 scanner just didn\u2019t work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can\u2019t forget to mention the Hall of Fame<\/strong>\u2026or maybe I can, because why do they all sound the same? To whoever is naming these things, please. Stop. Think of the children. Our literacy rate is plummeting and we are too hungry to think properly. No wonder we still call it Sandy\u2019s. Frankly, I basically never go there. Are the baristas sweet, fantastic, and always ready to add some sass to your tea? Yes. Yet my order somehow always takes forty-five minutes and is missing a crucial ingredient, and that dampens my enjoyment of the entire experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n America might run on Dunkin\u2019, but Centre College runs on Einstein\u2019s<\/strong>. Seriously. If something happened to Einstein\u2019s, I would have to transfer. I depend on my silly little drink with my silly little bagel and egg and a silly little pastry on the side to make it through the day. Do they often forget to make the mobile orders? Does the line stretch halfway around the library? Yes. Does it stop Centre students from getting their caffeine and sandwich fix? No.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n To sum it up, our options are abysmal, but the cheer and personality of the faces that staff our dining does help a bit. We\u2019re chronically low on\u2026 everything. Always. Genuine colonels survive off of rations more nutritious than ours. Maybe that\u2019s why we\u2019re pivoting to that bird for a mascot. We sure eat like a bunch of birds. Oh, what I could do if I spent $6900 of my own money on food\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Anonymous Centre College is a food desert. Okay, no, not really\u2014I can admit when I\u2019ve crossed the line into sensationalism. But there\u2019s only so much stale bagel and cold flatbread a stomach can handle before the dramatics set in. Before I even set foot on campus, I knew I would never be fully satisfied […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3918,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8483"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8484,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8483\/revisions\/8484"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3918"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}