by Aelwen Iredale<\/p>\n\n\n\n
5am:<\/strong> Wake up<\/p>\n\n\n\n Time to get up and get at it, recruit! It\u2019s time for you to prove your mettle as a soldier\u2014I mean, student<\/em> at Centre College. So, roll out of bed and throw on the first clothes you can find. Every minute you waste is a minute you could spend studying<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7am:<\/strong> Eat<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are three options for breakfast at Centre. 1) Nothing\u2013recommended, eating takes up time for extra studying. 2) An omelet\u2013Cowan omelets are delicious, but, remember, you are WASTING YOUR TIME by not rereading assignments for class and instead eating<\/em>. Be more responsible 3) Einstein\u2019s\u2013Again, fine, you have to eat, but stop wasting time. Get to work<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8am:<\/strong> Begin classes<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your classes should start as early as possible, and you should pack as many classes as possible into a single day. You\u2019re at Centre<\/em>. You should be double majoring and double minoring at the very least. <\/em>Any space in your schedule? Add another class. No breaks, only classes. (You\u2019re lazy if you\u2019re not following this recommendation)<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4pm:<\/strong> Finish classes<\/p>\n\n\n\n Forget about lunch, your next order of business should be homework. Jump right into your assignments. Who wants to waste flex dollars or meal swipes when you could be an academic weapon? Write drafts for essays while dizzy with hunger, and eat calculus instead of food. Visit professors with your delirious questions while food is all you can think about. This is Centre. It\u2019s not academically rigorous if you\u2019re not suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6pm:<\/strong> Eat dinner<\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay, fine. You can let yourself eat dinner. Two meals a day is enough. But make it quick! Your fifty million club activities and convocations begin soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6:30pm:<\/strong> Homework<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s get more work done. Since you were lethargic due to the lack of nutrition\u2014necessary as a Centre student\u2014you probably have more homework to get done before convocations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7:30pm:<\/strong> Convocations\/Clubs<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, I know that there are too many events going on to choose from, so invent a way to clone yourself\u2013-homework in your genetics class, most likely\u2014so you can go to club activities, convocations, hang out with your friends for some socialization, and get more homework done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8:30pm:<\/strong> Try to leave convocation<\/p>\n\n\n\n Inevitably, people will ask questions, so pick up your phone and complain on YikYak until you can escape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8:45pm:<\/strong> Get back to work<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ve wasted enough time. Do more homework. Revise essays. Prepare for labs. Be a tough Centre student! You signed up for the academics here, so be prepared to suffer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 10:30pm:<\/strong> Mental Breakdown<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cry. Consider dropping out. Cry some more. Stare at the ceiling in despair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 11:00pm:<\/strong> Taco Bell Run<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your eating schedule is screwed anyways. Might as well indulge in Taco Bell instead of sleep. There are very few options left for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 11:30pm:<\/strong> Commiserate<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you sit in your car with friends with Taco Bell\u2014in a parking spot that was miserable to find because we have none on campus\u2014just stare into space as you all think about what you\u2019re working towards and if this is really<\/em> worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 12:00am:<\/strong> Homework<\/p>\n\n\n\n Listen. You know the drill at this point. You\u2019re going to be miserable anyways, so let\u2019s be productive so you don\u2019t have a breakdown about being unproductive. Yay! Let\u2019s get back to work!<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1:00am:<\/strong> Mania<\/p>\n\n\n\n Suddenly, you\u2019re really delusional and productive. You\u2019re an academic weapon. Centre can\u2019t defeat you! You\u2019re going to complete all your assignments, defeat your exams, and win against this evil thing called college.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2:00am:<\/strong> Crash<\/p>\n\n\n\n Faceplant on a study room table and make peace with the fact that this is where you are sleeping for the night. Who has energy to get back to their room? Besides, if you wake up here, you can get straight back to work! Good for you. You are a productive Centre student!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Aelwen Iredale 5am: Wake up Time to get up and get at it, recruit! It\u2019s time for you to prove your mettle as a soldier\u2014I mean, student at Centre College. So, roll out of bed and throw on the first clothes you can find. Every minute you waste is a minute you could spend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8454,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8453\/revisions\/8454"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}