{"id":2728,"date":"2016-03-17T08:00:34","date_gmt":"2016-03-17T12:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=2728"},"modified":"2016-03-17T08:00:34","modified_gmt":"2016-03-17T12:00:34","slug":"letters-to-the-editor-to-the-men-of-centre-college","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2016\/03\/17\/letters-to-the-editor-to-the-men-of-centre-college\/","title":{"rendered":"Letters to the Editor: To the men of Centre College"},"content":{"rendered":"

To the Men of Centre College, on Whose Behalf Jesse Diluzio Spoke \u2013<\/p>\n

It is my understanding that you took offense to Emily Rodes\u2019 article<\/a> and I can objectively see why; you didn\u2019t like feeling attacked or generalized, which is fair. But what I think you didn\u2019t quite get out of the article, and possibly what you chose not to see, was that Emily\u2019s declaration of independence was not from \u201cMen,\u201d but from \u201cThe Patriarchy.\u201d These are not the same thing<\/em>. Feminists don\u2019t hate all men. I know some of us do, but that\u2019s more of a personal hobby than an ideology at this point. However, it\u2019s 2016 and I can\u2019t imagine you all have missed that part of feminist rhetoric entirely. So you know that feminists aren\u2019t trying to break down “Men”\u2014they are trying to take down the system that has valued men over not just women but all<\/em> genders, creating a very messy and complicated system of oppression.<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s break down the word \u201coppression.\u201d Oppression is not a one-time deal; it is prolonged and systematic cruelty or injustice. Oppression is not, for example, being afraid that people will be mad that you disagreed with a girl on the internet. Oppression is the fact that tampons are taxed as a \u201cluxury\u201d item and that there are only two abortion clinics in the state of Kentucky. In the specific case of your response, it goes hand in hand with the idea of \u201csexism.\u201d Sexism is systematic and often institutionalized oppression of one sex. In our binary-obsessed society, this ultimately leads to the created idea of a \u201cdominant\u201d sex and a \u201csubordinate\u201d sex. I\u2019m going to let you guess which one you think is which. Now, this will be hard to swallow so I\u2019m going to say it gently\u2014Women Cannot Be Sexist Towards Men Because Men Benefit From The Systematic Oppression of Women, Whereas There Has Never Been A Systematic Oppression Of Men From Which Women Could Benefit.<\/p>\n

Whether you realize it or not, guys, you benefit from sexism. I\u2019m sure that you don\u2019t love being told that because it sounds pretty bad, but it\u2019s true. You can notice it in the little things, like the fact that if we were to sit next to each other on a bus, your legs would be spread wide apart and mine would be crossed. I have been taught over the course of my entire life that it is imperative that I take up less space in this world than a man. You have also been taught this. It is expected that any woman you are with should be shorter, thinner, and all around smaller than you because space equals power<\/em>. You have never been afraid to go on a blind date. Or any date. And I don\u2019t mean afraid like \u201coh my gosh I hope her table manners aren\u2019t atrocious\u201d afraid, I mean like \u201cwow I hope this guy doesn\u2019t use his physical advantage to force himself on me sexually and then stalk my apartment for years\u201d afraid. Stalking wasn\u2019t a crime in all fifty states until 1994, when it was made so under the Violence Against Women Act. Date rape was charged as a lesser crime than stranger rape\u2014the victims of which are both overwhelmingly female\u2014in many states up until the same time. That\u2019s sexism.<\/p>\n

This brings me to your first point. And to why you cannot<\/em> equate these seemingly endless giggles from \u201cLilly Pulitzer, sorority\u00adletter\u00adwearing women\u201d with the catcalling that women face on and off this campus literally every single day<\/em>. I was catcalled walking to Speedway yesterday. Twice. Last month, one of my friends was walking home at night when a car full of young men stopped her in the middle of the road and attempted to get her into the car with them. Rest assured that I\u2019m not exaggerating when I say you can ask any woman on campus and she will have a similar story. Giggling might make you feel foolish, and that\u2019s valid, but catcalling makes women feel terrified, and that\u2019s a fucking problem.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m genuinely sorry that you have been fondled and groped in your fraternity houses. That is a deeply unpleasant experience for anyone to have to go through, and should you feel the need to discuss how it has affected you, the counseling services at Parsons are an excellent resource. But again, I\u2019m afraid the difference between you getting groped at a party and women on campus getting groped at a party is pretty clear.<\/p>\n

When a girl groped you in your fraternity house, a territory that is yours, where the people in charge are you and your brothers, you had the upper hand. Even in a fraternity house that is not yours, you\u2019re an athlete and in a heavily male environment and still have the upper hand. I\u2019m guessing you were never afraid that the groping would lead to anything worse, much less anything violent. I can\u2019t say I\u2019ve always felt the same security, seeing as when I\u2019m groped at a frat party, the authorities I have to depend upon in that moment are in all likelihood the brothers or friends of the person who just violated my space and my good time. However, in discussions I have had with various Centre men, both affiliated and not, they have said that they would be very unlikely to respect the authority of a female sober monitor if sororities were permitted to throw parties. A survey of college students that came out last year shows that 11% of female college students have experienced unwanted penetrative or oral sex. There\u2019s no wiggle room in that definition of rape or assault, gentlemen, and it\u2019s happening to 1 in 10 women in college right now. I completely agree that those engaging in the \u201cabhorrent behavior that Emily Rodes describes\u201d shouldn\u2019t be allowed to go to Centre. I also know for a fact that there are those who do anyway. There are those who have admitted to sexually assaulting a girl in a court of law and were still admitted to this school, represent this school as student athletes, and attend class with women unaware of their history.<\/p>\n

I want to be clear \u2013 I am not labeling you all oppressors. I am labeling you as ones who are privileged by the system of oppression under which we all live. This casually patronizing attitude that you\u2019ve taken towards Emily\u2019s outcry makes this pretty clear. You felt attacked by this article – why? Because as men you believe you have something to lose in a system of true equality? Because you don\u2019t like that as an educated adult you\u2019re now expected to be \u201cpolitically correct\u201d all the time? Is being \u201cpolitically correct\u201d such a hindrance to your life? I really can\u2019t take that, because from what I know and what I\u2019m confident you <\/em>know about being politically correct, it\u2019s really just code for recognizing when widely accepted language or attitudes are hurtful or antagonizing towards a group of your fellow human beings and then agreeing to no longer foster that language or those attitudes through continued use. So when you write a post claiming Emily Rodes is a dangerous misandrist after she speaks up about how she\u2019s tired of her sex getting the crap end of the stick and I write a 2000 word essay in response, that\u2019s me being politically correct. Because I could just call you whiny shit babies.<\/p>\n

You say you have little control over this system in which you live, but that\u2019s simply not true. As I stated before, you have been recognized and raised as the \u201cdominant\u201d sex and therefore hold the upper hand. I believe you when you say that \u201cmen are an important asset to equality on this campus and in this country\u201d because they are; you are half the population. But somehow that half controls the Supreme Court, Congress, the White House, Fortune 500 companies, movie studios, television networks, universities, hospital boards, professional sports, etc., all that on top of being \u201cthe head of the house.\u201d You\u2019re not expected to give up your last name and therefore part of your individual identity when you get married, you\u2019re not expected to have to choose between a career and a family, and while I recognize that there are body and beauty standards for men, you cannot compare them to those that exist for women. You honestly can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t go into that, but try bringing it up with any of your female friends, or just any woman you know. You have been shamed for wearing dresses or performing femininity since childhood unless it\u2019s done as a joke, while women who adopt masculine dress or traits are encouraged to do so because masculinity is valued so much more than femininity. Decorating your room with pictures of Lebron is ok while decorating it with pictures of One Direction is stupid. The majority of flute players are female because the flute is a delicate instrument and men are not delicate. If a person wants to verbally abuse you they use terms associated with feminitity to do that, for the same reason. You are denied paid paternity leave in almost every state because it is not expected that you will want to be home for the first few weeks of your child\u2019s life, even if it would be more beneficial for you to stay home than the mother of your child. You will never be asked if becoming a grandfather will inhibit your ability to serve as President of the United States.<\/p>\n

So, where do you come in to the solution? Well, as Emily said, it all begins with recognizing the system. Recognize when women are calling upon you to empathize with them,<\/em> not pick a fight with them. Recognize that when I say that I don\u2019t feel safe at a frat party, I am not accusing you of being a predator but calling upon you for help to stand up with me and for me against those men that try to take advantage of their privilege. Recognize that when I say catcalling makes me fear for my safety that I am not claiming that you want to hurt me but that I am asking you to understand catcalling as women do, and to do what you can to stop it. Recognize that women have been raised their whole lives to empathize with men, and that that expectation does not go both ways. The books we read growing up virtually all had male protagonists, as did the television shows and the movies we saw. Our history and English classes since elementary school have been dominated by the narratives of men. Clergy in our churches are overwhelmingly male, as are our most famous professional athletes. We\u2019ve yet to have a female President, or even Vice President. You have not been conditioned to see women and the problems they face as a priority, or even as your concern. I\u2019m not blaming you for that, but I am calling upon you to recognize it<\/em>, and start doing what you can to change it. That is what feminism is \u2013 a movement working towards the social, political, and economic intersectional equality of all sexes and genders.<\/p>\n

Thank you for opening this window for discussion, and for considering this testament with an open mind, as I considered yours. Rest assured that this has come from no one but me, and in posting it I do not attempt to represent any other person or organization with which I am affiliated. Here\u2019s hoping for a greater understanding of each other in the future.<\/p>\n

Tory Parker<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To the Men of Centre College, on Whose Behalf Jesse Diluzio Spoke \u2013 It is my understanding that you took offense to Emily Rodes\u2019 article and I can objectively see why; you didn\u2019t like feeling attacked or generalized, which is fair. But what I think you didn\u2019t quite get out of the article, and possibly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2728","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2728","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2728"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2728\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2728"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2728"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2728"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}