{"id":2472,"date":"2015-10-29T08:00:41","date_gmt":"2015-10-29T12:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=2472"},"modified":"2015-10-29T08:00:41","modified_gmt":"2015-10-29T12:00:41","slug":"militant-social-justice-warrior-spends-fabulous-day-at-keeneland-racecourse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2015\/10\/29\/militant-social-justice-warrior-spends-fabulous-day-at-keeneland-racecourse\/","title":{"rendered":"Militant Social Justice Warrior Spends Fabulous Day at Keeneland Racecourse"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As is custom during the fall and spring semesters at Centre College, students make the trek to Keeneland Racecourse in Lexington, the unwanted stepsister of the world famous Kentucky Churchill Downs. Though never quite warm enough, weekends at Keeneland become the battleground for students displaying the wealth they desperately wish they had. But sometimes, Keeneland is host to the most unlikely of patrons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sophomore Katie Lumsford makes plain her political and social views and is well known on Centre\u2019s campus for engaging in her community, dining exclusively on locally grown food, and ruining family reunions. Lumsford, a graduate from Louisville\u2019s Sacrosanct Heart High School, describes herself as a \u201cgenderless vegan\u201d with \u201cstrong sentiments toward labor groups\u201d and \u201cwhale rights activists.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An intellectual landmine in any group discussion, Lumsford spent this past weekend at Keeneland with a group of friends, a day she described as \u201cfabulous\u201d and full of pleasant surprises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe weren\u2019t sure how ze would handle it,\u201d Lumsford\u2019s friend and social liaison Bethany Smith said. \u201cThe first few hours were just tailgating, and that involves a lot of yelling, gluten, and white people playing rap music. I was worried how it was going to go, but Katie did great.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite horseracing\u2019s deep classism and laundry list of animal abuse cases, Lumsford put on her best Lilly Pulitzer knockoff dress and faux leather boots and stomped her way into the world of Bluegrass aristocracy and overpriced nachos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was delightful,\u201d Lumsford said, after taking a moment to share an urgent Upworthy post. \u201cI would have preferred there to have been a trigger warning before the gunshot went off, but I was remarkably unoffended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe diversity was a bit low,\u201d she quipped. \u201cBut what was I expecting!\u201d It was the first time she had acknowledged racial humor since the Baltimore riots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKatie really is well intentioned,\u201d Lumsford\u2019s token conservative friend Matt Blevin said. \u201cAnymore though, it\u2019s just impossible to talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having met her freshman year when she was \u201cjust a socialist,\u201d Blevin has learned to avoid any conversation of substance Lumsford.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOut of the four of us [in our friend group], I\u2019m the only Republican,\u201d Blevin explained. \u201cAnd look, that\u2019s totally fine, but there\u2019s only so many times a person can hear \u2018appropriation\u2019 before you can\u2019t take it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Describing Lumsford as a \u201cdeath march through eggshells\u201d Jack Norway, another friend, also spoke to her disposition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m plenty liberal,\u201d Norway said. \u201cAnd honestly, I agree with Katie on most things, but she can lay it on pretty thick. Matt and I just go through Bethany now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After inquiring if the horses were LEED certified, Lumsford rolled her eyes at her friends\u2019 commentary, directing all questions \u201cto [her] blog.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regardless of her beliefs, Lumsford was evidently enjoying herself in the midst of Kentucky\u2019s 1 percent, going so far as to eat a cheeseburger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is so unlike me,\u201d Lumsford exclaimed, momentarily forgetting about her Tumblr notifications. \u201cI\u2019m feeling a little crazy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when the bourbon began to make its way around Kentucky\u2019s preeminent glue factory, the group of friends really began let loose. Pulling out her wage slave made iPhone, Lumsford made a kissing face and took a selfie with her friends, casting off the last shreds of her middle-class hairshirt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt the end of the day, we\u2019re all friends,\u201d Smith said to Blevin and Norway\u2019s approval. \u201cKatie\u2019s like family, and that doesn\u2019t change, not matter what she\u2019s jockeying for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joining the ranks of Kentuckians who simultaneously protest casinos and support the Derby, Lumsford placed her eighth double digit bet of the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know, a walk on the wilder side has been nice,\u201d the Bernie Sanders supporter said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leaving the bastion of Lexington old money behind, acquaintances of Lumsford are unsure of what effects the trip will have on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne thing is certain,\u201d one classmate who had the horrible misfortune of having her in his Politics 110 class said. \u201cShe\u2019s far too open-minded to ever change her beliefs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s Note: The previous article is from the CentOnion series, a satirical publication focused on parodying various subjects unique to Centre College\u2019s campus.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As such, all content within this article is purely fictional and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Cento or Centre College.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition all quotations used in this article are purely fictional and do not necessarily reflect the views of the individuals quoted.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR As is custom during the fall and spring semesters at Centre College, students make the trek to Keeneland Racecourse in Lexington, the unwanted stepsister of the world famous Kentucky Churchill Downs. Though never quite warm enough, weekends at Keeneland become the battleground for students displaying the wealth they desperately […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":2473,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-arts-leisure","category-centonion","category-opinions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2472\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2473"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}