{"id":2095,"date":"2015-03-19T09:00:51","date_gmt":"2015-03-19T13:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=2095"},"modified":"2015-03-19T09:00:51","modified_gmt":"2015-03-19T13:00:51","slug":"greek-students-dismayed-to-find-their-biglittle-not-perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2015\/03\/19\/greek-students-dismayed-to-find-their-biglittle-not-perfect\/","title":{"rendered":"Greek Students Dismayed to Find Their Big\/Little \u201cNot Perfect\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

The longstanding tradition of having a \u2018big\u2019 and \u2018little\u2019 is central to being a member of a fraternity and sorority, creating a bond between Greek members that can often transcend brotherhood or sisterhood. For many, it\u2019s one of the closest bonds to be formed during their college years.<\/p>\n

Recently, however, Centre students have expressed dismay at the newest addition to their Greek family, discovering upon Big\/Little Reveal that they\u2019re just \u201cnot perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I joined my sorority, I was so excited to have a little,\u201d sophomore and member of Delta Kappa Theta Loretta Johnson said. \u201cThe older girls made it seem so glamorous. But now that I have one, I hate to say it, but she\u2019s pretty average.\u201d<\/p>\n

And Johnson doesn\u2019t seem to be alone. Junior and member of Alpha Alpha Alpha (Triple A) Henrietta Williams expressed similar disillusionment having met her. After talking to her briefly during formal recruitment and announcing to the world on Bid Day that she was \u201cher favorite person ever,\u201d Williams was stuck being her big.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a nice girl, really she is, but I already have one little and honestly that\u2019s enough Instagram material for a lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fraternity men echoed these Greek women, labeling their little brothers as nothing more than \u201cneedy drinking budd[ies]\u201d and \u201centitled to my exec position.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI always thought being a father-figure would be rewarding,\u201d senior and member of Sigma Epsilon Chi Robert Watkins said. \u201cTurns out, it\u2019s a nightmare. Every night they want something from the grill, a ride to Walmart, or \u2018help on their midterms,\u2019 whatever that means. It\u2019s exhausting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Indeed, for most sororities and fraternities, being someone\u2019s big entrusts them with their little\u2019s wellbeing, ensuring they make it through to initiation, college, and into the postgraduate world.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a big responsibility, no pun intended,\u201d New Member Educator and consequently a victim of political correctness Richard Ramswell said. \u201cI know every fraternity does things differently, but for Gamma Kappa Epsilon (Geke), the New Member committee works really hard to match up the active members with the pledges for big\/little relationships. When they don\u2019t work out, it\u2019s heartbreaking.\u201d<\/p>\n

While Ramswell is correct in saying Greek organizations having meaningful differences, in general each chapter greatly values their big\/little dynamic. Sorority women and fraternity men go to great lengths to make substantive, long-lasting, and mutually beneficial relationships with their forced adoptions, hosting \u2018family dinners,\u2019 purchasing expensive letters, and extending an obligatory invitation to their Spring Break plans.<\/p>\n

But is this jaded outlook merely a result of Greek experience? Not according to first-year Bernadette Huffman, who was recently introduced to her sorority big.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean she\u2019s nice,\u201d Huffman said, desperately cramming the remains of big\/little reveal under her bed, as construction paper, glitter, and stylized Popsicle sticks poured out into the floor, \u201cbut I don\u2019t feel any deep connection to her. We both like Titanic <\/em>and the song \u2018Mr. Brightside,\u2019 but that\u2019s essentially it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Geke we call them pledge fathers\/sons,\u201d newly initiated Travis Fugget said. \u201cSo my pledge dad and I hit it off really well in the beginning \u2013 he bought me a football, played catch, and even taught me how to ride a bike. It was incredible! But now, it\u2019s just not the same. He\u2019s never around.\u201d<\/p>\n

It seems that a growing population of bigs just aren\u2019t fulfilling their end of the bargain, leaving their littles with feelings of disappointment and inadequacy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess she could only watch Jack die with me so many times before it got old,\u201d Huffman said, eyeing old photographs of herself and her little. \u201cShe went abroad, and now I\u2019m aimless. I thought we had something special.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to the littles, when bigs leave for extended periods, like going abroad for a semester, or even permanently, like graduating or transferring, it leaves a significant void in their life. And what\u2019s worse, there seems to be a history of this behavior from big to little.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy big was never around,\u201d Watkins said. \u201cI had to take care of myself. When I wanted to irresponsibly drive to Qdoba midweek, I did it on my own. When I wanted to live in Brockman as a sophomore, I made my own senior friends. That\u2019s just the way it was.\u201d<\/p>\n

When pressed on his relationship now with his little, Watkins was unremorseful.<\/p>\n

\u201cI gave my little everything. If he can\u2019t make do, that\u2019s his problem. I barely even knew my big,\u201d Watkins said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI have a life too, you know,\u201d Johnson said. \u201cAnd with another little on the way, there\u2019s only so much I can give. Between the crafts, Facebook posts, and pricey Greek memorabilia, I\u2019m broke. At some point, she\u2019s going to have to start being more independent.\u201d<\/p>\n

For littles, it seems that their mistreatment is rooted in a problematic relationship between their big and \u2018grandbig.\u2019 In keeping with nearly every other mental health issue, there are concerns this will only perpetuate the problem, as bigs impart their emotional baggage onto their littles.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll I know is that I never want my little to feel this way,\u201d Fugget said, staring longingly at his rundown bicycle. \u201cWe would go down to the train tracks on a sunny spring day and he\u2019d take the training wheels offer and balance me. Now he\u2019s off at medical school. Abandoned me, just like that. I don\u2019t know who Johns Hopkins is, but I hope he makes my dad happy.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR The longstanding tradition of having a \u2018big\u2019 and \u2018little\u2019 is central to being a member of a fraternity and sorority, creating a bond between Greek members that can often transcend brotherhood or sisterhood. For many, it\u2019s one of the closest bonds to be formed during their college years. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-2095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions","tag-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2095"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2095\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}