{"id":1704,"date":"2015-02-19T09:00:23","date_gmt":"2015-02-19T14:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=1704"},"modified":"2015-02-19T09:00:23","modified_gmt":"2015-02-19T14:00:23","slug":"experts-discover-abraham-lincoln-conceived-at-centre","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2015\/02\/19\/experts-discover-abraham-lincoln-conceived-at-centre\/","title":{"rendered":"Experts Discover Abraham Lincoln Conceived at Centre"},"content":{"rendered":"

By GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

In a stunning new historical development, Centre College administrative experts have determined, independent of the modern academic community, that the sixteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was conceived on what are now the footsteps of Old Centre.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

President Lincoln, known for his leadership during the American Civil War and delivering the Gettysburg Address, now has an even deeper tie to the liberal arts institution.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe always knew President Lincoln had historic roots here,\u201d Professor emeritus of History Dr. Michael \u201cCountry\u201d Hamm said. \u201cBut until now we always thought it stopped with John Todd Stuart.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

John Todd Stuart was an 1826 Centre graduate, responsible for encouraging a young Abraham Lincoln to enter into the legal profession and lending to him his law books for study. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A testament to the power of lifelong friendship and unconditional support, Stuart is appropriately commemorated by Stuart Hall, formerly a funeral home. But Stuart\u2019s legacy does not stop there.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In 2012 Centre\u2019s tenuous-at-best connection was solidified with the addition of a large sculpture depicting a sprightly Lincoln pouring over one of his books in front of the College Library. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In 2014, an explanatory podium was added with historical information desperately justifying the statue, which looks similar to Mad Magazine\u2019s boy mascot. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Aesthetically pleasing and unobtrusive, the podium was relocated shortly after Homecoming.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But now with new evidence to suggest that Thomas and Nancy Hanks Lincoln actually conceived their second child in the space that would ten years later become the site of Old Centre, Stuart has lost some of his importance to the college.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJohn Todd was always our boy,\u201d Dr. Hamm said, \u201cbut now we don\u2019t have to rely on him anymore. We\u2019ve transcended Stuart. And that\u2019s big for development.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Indeed, for the College the discovery couldn\u2019t have come at a better time, as just last month the administration announced their latest addition to the myriad of academic programs offered by Centre \u2013 the Lincoln Scholars Program. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Lincoln Scholars will receive full tuition, room and board, books and fees, and $10,000 their sophomore year to \u201csupport educational enrichment opportunities.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The fall of 2016 will see the ten inaugural scholars on campus, determined by the highly specific and incredibly out of touch criteria of being \u201ccreated for students who have the capacity and deep desire to change the world.\u201d We aren\u2019t making this up.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It only seems reasonable then that Lincoln\u2019s monumental life all began in an unplowed field on the outskirts of Danville, KY, between two poor frontier settlers. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, as experts pointed out, it is believed that the exact moment of conception occurred in the spot of the Centre seal. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI walk out of those doors every day,\u201d Centre College President Dr. John Roush said, \u201cand nothing makes Susie and me happier than knowing that we walk by the space Thomas and Nancy Lincoln \u2018elected\u2019 our future president. Put\u2019s a whole new spin on Railsplitter for us.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But the positive effects of the \u2018Lincoln discovery\u2019 aren\u2019t limited to just good sentiment. The president\u2019s newfound history has allowed the wealthy anonymous donor responsible for the 16-foot statue and alienating scholars program to make his or her strange obsession into abrasive reality. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

With plans to erect three more Lincoln sculptures around campus, including one with Apple headphones and gym shorts heading into Sutcliffe, and to issue stovepipe hats to all incoming students, the Board of Trustees doesn\u2019t anticipate \u201cLincomania\u201d ending any time soon.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt certainly is interesting that we have this history,\u201d Dr. Hamm continued, \u201cbut it does beg the question why we don\u2019t emphasize other prominent Americans affiliated with Centre. For instance, we could start with those who actually attended the College.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

True, such names as Supreme Court Justices John Marshall Harlan and Fred Vison, Kentucky Senator and Ambassador to East Germany and India John Sherman Cooper, and Vice President Adlai Stevenson do call Centre home, and one could reasonably expect their loyalty and connection to the College to be acknowledged, but in true Lincoln habeas corpus denying fashion, we just don\u2019t get to know why these honorable individuals are overlooked time and time again.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Tellingly, other institutions have taken to similar tactics, citing any number of loose connections to famous individuals. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s reported that Ronald Reagan got food poisoning at Campbellsville University, that Woodrow Wilson was first exposed to biblical literalism at Asbury University, and that Franklin Delano Roosevelt helped teepee the president\u2019s cottage at Bellarmine University. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And of course, a new study has found that Jefferson Daviess, the President of the Confederate States of America and Abraham Lincoln\u2019s political foil, was conceived at Transylvania University. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s caused many of us to begin looking at our own history,\u201d President Roush said. \u201cI myself am pleased to announce that I can actually trace my heritage back to Mr. Lincoln himself.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Admittedly, it is rather incredible that President Lincoln\u2019s legacy is still doing so much good for so many people. Centre College has long been known as an institution that hits above its weight, capable of doing far more with far less. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But now with the long-awaited addition of students who finally have \u201cthe capacity and deep desire to change the world,\u201d the small liberal arts college has the chance to truly impact the globe. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor at least one donor, this is the realization of a dream, a dream in keeping with the nearly two hundred old mission of Centre College,\u201d President Roush said.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s like I\u2019ve said: Emancipate. Proclamate. No Regrets.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: The previous article is from the CentOnion series, a satirical publication focused on parodying various subjects unique to Centre College\u2019s campus. <\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As such, all content within this article is purely fictional and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Cento or Centre College.<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In addition all quotations used in this article are purely fictional and do not necessarily reflect the views of the individuals quoted.<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR In a stunning new historical development, Centre College administrative experts have determined, independent of the modern academic community, that the sixteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was conceived on what are now the footsteps of Old Centre. President Lincoln, known for his leadership during the American […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,10],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-1704","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-leisure","category-centonion","category-opinions","tag-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1704","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1704"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1704\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1704"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1704"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1704"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}