{"id":1421,"date":"2014-10-15T20:00:20","date_gmt":"2014-10-16T00:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/?p=1421"},"modified":"2014-10-15T20:00:20","modified_gmt":"2014-10-16T00:00:20","slug":"centre-launches-rockefeller-scholars-program","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/2014\/10\/15\/centre-launches-rockefeller-scholars-program\/","title":{"rendered":"Centre Launches Rockefeller Scholars Program"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0GRAY WHITSETT –\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a topic that\u2019s on every parent\u2019s mind\u2013how will I be able to afford college for my child?<\/p>\n

\u201cHere at Centre College we\u2019ve taken steps to alleviate some of these concerns,\u201d Dean of Student Life Randy \u201cSavage\u201d Hays.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost people know that a strong majority of students are on some type of merit scholarship from the college,\u201d Hays continued, \u201cbut more directly, next year we will be launching the Grissom Scholars Program, which specifically targets prospective first-generation college students. By and large, these are men and women who otherwise might not be able to attend college, and if they did, would be subject to significant financial burden.\u201d<\/p>\n

Indeed, the Kentucky liberal arts school has been progressive in their aid giving, with over half of Centre applicants receiving some level of merit-based scholarship, in addition to offering a need-based financial aid system.<\/p>\n

But now this is all changing, because alongside the Grissom Scholars Program will be another landmark initiative\u2013the Rockefeller Scholars Program, which will offer full tuition, room and board, books and materials, unlimited food money, a $10,000 summer stipend, twelve academic, cultural, and economic advisors, and a Lexus LS for fifth-generation college students.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe come from a long tradition of upper-class families dominating enrollment,\u201d former John Fitzgerald Kennedy Professor of Suave and History Clarence Wyatt said.<\/p>\n

Now President of Monmouth College, President Wyatt shared his knowledge of Centre\u2019s past alumni. \u201cNames like Caldwell, Evans, Rodes, Cheek\u2013you think these were modest, blue collar names? We\u2019re talking the equivalent of the American landed aristocracy, true blue 35-percent-tax-bracket powerhouses whose number of bedrooms was only outclassed by their population of sharecroppers.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to their mission statement, the Rockefeller Scholars operate with a \u201cpreference toward wealthy, white fifth-generation college-aged men\u201d and is aimed at \u201crevitalizing what college used to be all about\u2013sparing the masses from learning too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really critical to read the wording of our mission,\u201d Rockefeller spokesperson and closet-racist Henry Boyle said. \u201cWe preference these types of people, which means it doesn\u2019t have to fit these criteria. It\u2019s quite possible to have one or two rich women, or a student of color whose family has had a habit of higher learning for over 100 years. It\u2019s not all bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

A Centre graduate and member of the Boyle family of Danville, after whom Boyle County is named, Henry insisted that people get the wrong idea about their program.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the face of a momentous economic, racial, and gender diversity, we had to do something. How many tank tops, New Balances, and jean shorts are you going to stand roaming the halls of the \u2018Harvard of the South\u2019? Where\u2019s the Brooks Brothers, the Versace? We want Gucci, not Nike.\u201d<\/p>\n

Boyle then offered the benefits the scholars could bring to campus. As it turns out, there were plenty of silver linings\u2013literally. \u201cWhen you get ten or twelve highly intelligent people on a campus, it\u2019s going to improve everyone else. It\u2019s what we call trickle-down academics. It just makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

A provocative stance to be sure, it was important to get the college administration\u2019s side of the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAs part of the program, each student receives a generous full ride, but that\u2019s not where it stops,\u201d Associate Dean Sarah Scott Hall explained. As Director of Leadership at Centre College, Hall is required to oversee the program while simultaneously organizing the Grissom Scholars. \u201cA full fledged cabinet of advisors is at the beck and call of each Rockefeller Scholar, including a mechanic for the Lexus.\u201d<\/p>\n

The automobile component of the scholarship is perhaps the most controversial, but Hall begrudgingly assured us the students could exchange it for an Audi with a written appeal.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe worst part of all of this is the $10,000 enrichment stipend for every summer of college,\u201d Hall continued, growing visibly distressed. \u201cThey have to put together a ten-week vacation proposal for an industrialized nation, during which they cannot participate in any volunteer or non-profit work. They are allowed to have a job, but only part-time, and they can only associate \u2018with those foreigners who best reflect the student\u2019s current way of life.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Rubbing her brow, Hall reassured that this all was true. \u201cThat\u2019s what the contract says. That\u2019s actually what\u2019s written there. You can\u2019t make this stuff up.\u201d<\/p>\n

Being as the Grissom and Rockefeller Scholars represent a markedly different mission, we wanted to know how Hall felt about the extra program.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to quit my job.\u201d<\/p>\n

Others echoed Hall\u2019s concerns, as the Brown Fellows, John C. Young Scholars, Posse Scholars, and Bonner Scholars and Leaders protested by doubling their GPAs and volunteering twice as much. \u201cWe\u2019ll kill these guys with kindness,\u201d Director of Community Service Dr. Matt Klooster \u201cIt\u2019s hard being rich and Caucasian these days,\u201d Henry Boyle retorted.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard not walking down the street and seeing carbon copies of yourself every Saturday,\u201d Boyle continued. \u201cJust last week I spent an extra fifteen minutes at the grocery store because a cashier couldn\u2019t understand a customer. I don\u2019t know what this lady was speaking, but it wasn\u2019t English. And yesterday, my kid had to miss ballet practice because she had \u2018World Religions\u2019 homework, whatever that\u2019s supposed to mean.\u201d<\/p>\n

Boyle continued. \u201cOur way of life is under attack, plain and simple, and we\u2019ve got to do something about it. And so we believe, as every good citizen does, that education is the place to start.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, it\u2019s a given that Rockefeller Scholars will come from a high-performing, religiously affiliated, private high school, but there\u2019s no guarantee that that will translate into a deeply economically conservative collegiate choice. Because we don\u2019t want our pampered little blossoms to have anything short of the best, we\u2019re happy know that their silver platter will be painted black and gold.\u201d<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s Note: The previous article is from the CentOnion series, a satirical publication focused on parodying various subjects unique to Centre College\u2019s campus. <\/strong><\/em>
\nAs such, all content within this article is purely fictional and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Cento or Centre College.<\/strong><\/em>
\nIn addition all quotations used in this article are purely fictional and do not necessarily reflect the views of the individuals quoted.<\/strong> <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0GRAY WHITSETT –\u00a0OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR It\u2019s a topic that\u2019s on every parent\u2019s mind\u2013how will I be able to afford college for my child? \u201cHere at Centre College we\u2019ve taken steps to alleviate some of these concerns,\u201d Dean of Student Life Randy \u201cSavage\u201d Hays. \u201cMost people know that a strong majority of students are on some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,10],"tags":[16],"class_list":["post-1421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts-leisure","category-centonion","category-opinions","tag-centonion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1421"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1421\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1421"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1421"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cento.centre.edu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1421"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}